讀書筆記：張培基英譯散文 《雨前》03

雨前
Praying For Rainfall
何其芳
He Qifang
| 譯文摘自張培基《英譯中國散文選二》

中文：
有幾個已上岸了。在柳樹下來回地作紳士的散步，舒息划行的疲勞。然後參差地站着，用嘴細細地撫理它們遍體白色的羽毛，間或又搖動身子或撲展着闊翅，使那綴在羽毛間的水珠墜落。一個已修飾完畢的，彎曲它的頸到背上，長長的紅嘴藏沒在翅膀裏，靜靜合上它白色的茸毛間的小黑眼，彷彿準備睡眠。可憐的小動物，你就是這樣做你的夢嗎?

英文：
Some of them stagger out of the water and, to relieve their fatigue, begin to saunter up and down with a gentleman-like swagger in the shade of the willow trees. Then, they stand about to preen their white plumage carefully. Occasionally they give themselves a sudden shake or flap their long wings to let off water drops from among their feathers. One of them, after grooming itself, turns round its neck to rest on the back, then buries its long red beak under its wings and quietly closes its small black eyes tucked away among the white find hair. Apparently it is getting ready to sleep. Poor little creature, is that the way you sleep?

要點：
1，“有幾個已上岸了。”譯爲Some of them stagger out of the water，其中stagger較come更加可取，因根據Longman詞典，swagger一詞作爲動詞的意思是to walk with a swinging movement, as if proud大搖大擺地走; 趾高氣揚地走；作爲名詞的意思是 proud manner of walking昂首闊步；趾高氣揚的走路姿態。

2，“然後參差地站着，用嘴細細地撫理它們遍體白色的羽毛，間或又搖動身子或撲展着闊翅，使那綴在羽毛間的水珠墜落。”在此譯者譯爲Then, they stand about to preen their white plumage carefully. Occasionally they give themselves a sudden shake or flap their long wings to let off water drops from among their feathers.兩個分句，我們也可以將原句以“站”、“撫理”、“搖動”、“撲展”等並列動詞構成的一句，從語法的角度可以理解爲一個並列句，以多動詞句的角度理解翻譯，譯爲Then, standing in disarray, preening their white plumage carefully, they occasionally gave themselves a sudden shake or flap their long wings to let off water drops from among their feathers.

3，“一個已修飾完畢的，彎曲它的頸到背上，長長的紅嘴藏沒在翅膀裏，靜靜合上它白色的茸毛間的小黑眼，彷彿準備睡眠。”譯爲One of them, after grooming itself, turns round its neck to rest on the back, then buries its long red beak under its wings and quietly closes its small black eyes tucked away among the white find hair. 對於這種多動詞的句子，使用現在分詞和過去分詞是最常用的方法。

4，“你就是這樣做你的夢嗎?”譯者在此將做夢譯爲sleep，個人覺得dream 更好一些~

綜述：
注意本段長句的綜合技巧，有時對於參考譯文我們要辯證的看待。

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