張培基英譯散文賞析之《黎明的眼睛》

黎明的眼睛
The Window Duanmu Hongliang

端木蕻良
Duanmu Hongliang
| 譯文摘自張培基《英譯中國散文選二》

三月清晨，把窗子推開，第一片陽光便飛到人們的全身，對着陽光帶進來的新鮮空氣，任誰都要深吸一口，說春天來了！就這樣，春天從窗口走近了我們。但是，可不要忘記，不是從有房子那天起，我們就有窗子的呢！
When you throw open your window on an early morning in March, you will at once be totally exposed to the sun’s first rays and, inhaling deeply of the fresh air brought in by them, exclaim, “Spring is here!”Yes, it is through the window that spring manages to approach don’t forget that not all houses have been windowed ever since man first began to build them.
要點：
1，“把窗子推開”可譯爲throw open your window，或open your window，但前者更加傳神~
2，“第一片陽光便飛到人們的全身”並未直譯，而是按“使你立即接觸到黎明的光芒”譯爲you will at once be totally exposed to the sun’s first rays
3，“春天來了”即“春天已經在這裏了”切記不要譯爲Spring is coming(春天將要到來)
4，“不是從有房子那天起，我們就有窗子的呢“譯爲not all houses have been windowed ever since man first began to build been windowed =have had a window 之前在《西歐的夏天》中我們也曾見過類似用法：譯者將” 西歐的旅館和汽車，例皆不備冷氣“譯爲Hotels and cars in Western Europe are usually not air-conditioned

綜述：
本篇文章語言優美洗練，看似基礎但要譯得傳神並不容易，自己先翻一遍，之後和張爺爺的進行對比，就能看出這篇文章的精彩~

我們的兄弟，愛斯基摩人用冰塊建築的房子，像個白玉的鐘罩一般，是沒有什麼窗子的，過去的鄂倫春兄弟們住的”神仙柱”，因爲沒有屋頂，在屋裏，到晚上可以看到頭上的月亮和星光，也就無須開窗子了。
Our Eskimo brothers’ houses, built of large blocks of frozen snow and shaped like white-jade clock covers, have no windows at all. Our Oroqen brothers used to live in roofless houses with no need for windows because they could in the evening enjoy the moon and stars overhead indoors.
要點：
1，“冰塊“應譯爲large blocks of frozen snow，而非block of ice,因爲愛斯基摩人用的是硬雪塊建造房屋，而不是單純的冰塊，所以做翻譯知識面要廣，做一個”知道分子“~
2，“過去的鄂倫春兄弟們住的‘神仙柱’”轉換主語，即“鄂倫春兄弟們過去住在‘神仙柱’裏”譯爲Our Oroqen brothers used to live in roofless houses，一是體現句式的靈活性，二是串聯句子的需要，因爲後面“擡頭看星光和月亮”的主語是” 鄂倫春兄弟們”而非“神仙柱”
3，“過去的鄂倫春兄弟們住的”神仙柱”，因爲沒有屋頂，在屋裏，到晚上可以看到頭上的月亮和星光，也就無須開窗子了”這句話零碎較多，整合意思爲“鄂倫春兄弟們過去住在沒有屋頂的‘神仙柱’裏，根本沒有必要開窗，因爲他們擡頭就能看到星星和月亮”

綜述：本段句式較散，注意整合句意

最早的人類山頂洞人走下山來，不知住過多少代，才懂得造個窩兒的時候，他們也只會模仿巖洞，把地挖個半截坑，上面再搭上個頂篷。至於窗子，就談不上了。房牆上開窗子是後來的事。隨着窗子的開鑿和擴大，人類文明的曙光也隨着擴大。
Man’s ancestors had been cave-dwellers before they left their mountains to settle on the plain. It was not until countless generations later that they began to build dwellings patterned after a cave--- with an awning over a shallow pit in the ground. There was no window to speak ng a window in the wall was a much later invention. As the popularity of windows grew, so did the civilization of man develop.
要點：
1，“最早的人類山頂洞人走下山來，”譯者按“人類的祖先在從山上移居到平原之前是住在洞穴裏的”譯爲Man’s ancestors had been cave-dwellers before they left their mountains to settle on the plain，不得不說張爺爺的這個意思選的很巧，把這樣平鋪直敘的一句話譯成有邏輯的一個句子，是值得我們學習的
2，“不知住過多少代，才懂得造個窩兒的時候，他們也只會模仿巖洞，把地挖個半截坑，上面再搭上個頂篷”也是需要整合意思而後譯的，只有中文順暢，譯爲英語的時候纔會順暢
3，no…to speak of=to say nothing of ;not to mention 意爲“更不必說，何況“
4，“房牆上開窗子是後來的事“譯爲Making a window in the wall was a much later invention.也可直譯爲Opening a window in the wall was something that took place much later, 但明顯不如前者簡練
5，“隨着窗子的開鑿和擴大，人類文明的曙光也隨着擴大。”譯者採用意譯法，譯爲As the popularity of windows grew, so did the civilization of man develop.句式簡潔，倒裝句是我們翻譯“也”的常用句式

綜述：注意本段的合譯和倒裝~

窗子，自從它出現的那天起，它就成爲陽光的眼睛，空氣的港口，成了自然和社會的紐帶。隨着時間流逝，層樓的加多，窗子也越來越多了。看到高層的建築，就會驚歎窗子是房屋最鮮明的象徵。沒有窗子的房子，幾乎也就沒法把它喚作屋子了。有誰未曾享受過開窗的喜悅呢？打開窗子，突然見到青山闖了進來，打開窗子，看到柳色的清新，小燕的飛來……
The window, ever since its birth, has been an entrance to sunlight, a port for taking in fresh air, and a tie between nature and human the passage of time and increase of tall buildings, more and more windows have appeared. Now, at the sight of a multi-storey building, one cannot help exclaiming at how the window is so symbolic of the house. Without a window, a house could hardly be called as hasn’t experienced great delight in opening a window? The moment you open it, you will be immediately struck by imposing blue mountains, fresh green willows, little swallows flying towards you…
要點：
1，“看到高層的建築，就會驚歎窗子是房屋最鮮明的象徵。”譯爲Now, at the sight of a multi-storey building, one cannot help exclaiming at how the window is so symbolic of the 句加強了驚歎的語氣
2，as such
3,” 突然見到青山闖了進來”譯爲you will be immediately struck by imposing blue mountains,“突然看到”譯爲be struck by 突出動作感，驚喜之情油然而生~

綜述：這三段較簡單，譯者的選詞和句式變換是點睛之筆

窗子開了，用不着打招呼，新的空氣就會猛撲進來。當然，隨之而來的，也有風沙飛入屋中，還有，眼睛看不到的微塵，還有很難發覺的細菌，有的是出面拜訪，有的是偷偷地混了進來……從古到今多少詩人先讚美過窗子，多少歌手歌唱過窗子，多少情人的眼睛凝望過窗子……
Open the window, and fresh air will break in upon your course, grains of sand will simultaneously be brought in too. So will invisible dust particles and bacteria, either openly or surreptitiously…From ancient times to the present, innumerable poets have sung their praises of the window, innumerable singers have extolled it, innumerable lovers have fixed their dreamy eyes on it…
要點：
1，“窗子開了，用不着打招呼，新的空氣就會猛撲進來。”譯爲Open the window, and fresh air will break in upon your room.其中“猛撲進來”即“闖入”譯爲break in (on/upon)
2，“風沙”在此指“砂礫”故譯grains of sand，“微塵”即“微塵顆粒”，譯爲dust particles
3，“ 多少詩人”即“無數詩人”，譯爲innumerable poets
4，“多少情人的眼睛凝望過窗子”譯爲innumerable lovers have fixed their dreamy eyes on it…dreamy 是增益成分，意爲“出神的”

窗子的變化，是值得人們考察一番的。小小的窗子，幾乎可以說，是文明的眼睛。在今後的日子裏，窗子的變化會更加多種多樣了。窗子的玻璃會隨着時鐘，自動調和射進室內的光線，窗子會隨着明暗變換顏色，窗框上裝有循環水，它可以爲居室的主人帶走很多他發覺不到的天敵，又可以送進來他需要而又不易到的芳香和養分……
The evolution of the window is worthy of our study. Small as it is, the window has opened man’s eyes to civilization. In the days to come, its changes will become even more window pane will, alone with the tick-tick of the clock, automatically regulate light stream into the room and change its own color according to interior illumination. The window frame will be filled with circulatory water to remove things harmful to the resident without his knowledge and carry him fragrance and nutrients which he much needs but are otherwise hard for him to get.
要點：
1，“變化“即”演化“，譯爲evolution
2,” 窗子的玻璃會隨着時鐘，自動調和射進室內的光線…”譯爲The window pane will, alone with the tick-tick of the clock, automatically regulate light stream into the room and change its own color according to interior illumination.“隨着時鐘“即“隨着時鐘的變化”，譯者增譯擬聲詞tick-tick來表示時鐘的變動
3，otherwise是增益成分，用於加強語氣

有的窗子不需開合，便能做到通風透光，它還可以把你不願聽到的聲音關到外邊，但是悅耳的琴聲，它是不會阻攔的……打開窗子吧！現在開窗子就不光是爲了迎進陽光、空氣，或者遠眺青山的青、新柳的綠、燕子飛來的掠影，……而是迎接一個新的世紀！
Some windows will ensure good ventilation and transparency without manual manipulation. They will keep out disturbing noises and let in sweet ’s open the window! Open it not just to let in sunlight and air or to get a distant view of blue mountains, fresh green willows and swallows in flight…, but, more importantly, to usher in a new century!
要點：
1，”不需開合“即“不需手動操作”譯爲without manual manipulation.意思擴大化可以使句子更加簡潔
2，“而是迎接一個新的世紀”譯爲but, more importantly, to usher in a new century!其中，more importantly是譯文中的增譯成分，用以加強語氣~

綜述：本文文筆優美，句式大多比較基本，但抒情成分較多，注意譯者是怎樣通過增詞或變換句式來表達作者情感的