心靈的明燈 The Light Inside

Life is truly beautiful. Just look at the trees: The leaves are green, the trunk is brown and the flowers are colorful.
生命確實是美麗的。看看那些樹，綠油油的葉子，褐色的樹幹，五彩斑斕的花朵。

I sat in the balcony of my house thinking about the beautiful redbud tree that was there, and the whiff of wet mud refreshed my meMories again. I still remember that day. It was raining. I was staying in a house surrounded by trees. The sky was adorned with rain clouds. The eucalyptus tree in the garden swayed with joy and the air was filled with the sweet smell of wet mud. It was truly glorious.
我坐在家裏的陽臺上對着美麗的紫荊樹遐想着，溼潤的泥土氣味又一次喚起了我的記憶。我仍舊記着那一天，下着雨，我正在一個被樹環繞的房子裏面。天空烏雲密佈，花園裏的桉樹歡快地搖曳着，空氣中瀰漫着甜甜的溼土的氣味。那情景真是很棒。

It was summer and we had vacations. I had had a lot of fun going for picnics, learning to swim and climbing mountains. It had been a wonderful vacation. School was just a week away and I was very happy; I would be in a new class. Well, let me not think about that as yet. I still had a week!
那是一個夏天，我們還在假期中。我的假日生活趣味橫生——野餐，學游泳，爬山。那真是一個美妙的假期。還有一個禮拜就開學了，我將要去一個新班級，現在我仍舊非常快樂。我跟自己說不要去想學校的事，畢竟還有一個禮拜呢！

My friend came over and we were playing in the garden when we decided to climb a tree. It was a little slippery2 but I had to get up there and touch those tender green leaves. They are always softer than the others.
我的朋友過來找我，我們一同在花園玩，之後我們決定爬樹。樹有點滑，但我一心想要爬上去，摸摸上面那些更嫩的綠葉，那些葉子總是比其他的葉子更柔軟。

As I tried to reach it, I slipped and fell. The next thing I remembered was that I woke up. I tried to open my eyes, or I felt that my eyes were open, but I could not see anything but darkness. I knew I was in the hospital. I could smell it but the darkness that I saw was weird3. I mean I had been in darkness before; however, even when it is dark I could at least see something.
我努力向上爬去，可是腳底突然一滑，摔了下來。接下來，我所記得的就是醒了過來。我試圖睜開雙眼，或者說我感覺自己的眼睛是睜着的，但卻看不到任何東西，眼前一片黑暗。我知道自己在醫院裏，因爲我能聞得出來，可是眼前的黑暗卻讓我感覺很奇怪。自己以前也曾在黑暗中待過，可是那至少也能看到一些東西。

"How did I get here?" I thought. Then I remembered playing with this friend of mine and now I knew I fell off the tree.
“我是怎麼到這兒的？”我心裏想。然後我想起自己和朋友玩耍。這時我明白了，自己從樹上摔下來了。

I must have moved because my mother held my hand. Her small little podgy4 hands were so soft. She came and gave me a kiss. I wanted to see her so I said," Mom, could you please switch on the light? It is too dark. I want to see you."
我一定是有些激動，因爲媽媽在握着我的手，她那雙小小的厚實的手是那麼的柔軟。她過來給了我一個吻。我很想看到她，於是便說：“媽媽，您能把燈打開嗎？太黑了，我想看見你。”

She sounded puzzled, "But the lights are on, sweetheart!"
她爲難地說道：“可是，親愛的，燈開着啊！”

I was confused. I touched my eyes. As I have mentioned, I felt them open but I wanted to make sure. "Are you sure that the lights are on Mummy, because I can’t see you?" I said.
我很迷惑，摸了摸自己的眼睛。正像我前面提到的，我感覺自己睜着眼，可我還是想確認一下。“媽媽，你確定燈開着嗎？爲什麼我看不到你？”我問。

Suddenly I felt very scared. I wanted to see my mother. And then an idea flashed in my mind; it sent a shudder5 all over of me. I knew something had gone wrong with me. I felt that I had become blind and won’t be able to see again. "No, this can’t be true. This is not happening to me," I started to cry.
突然，我感到非常害怕，我想看見我的媽媽。隨即一個念頭閃入我腦中，讓我全身一陣發冷。我意識到自己出了問題，知道自己瞎了，再也看不見了。“不，這不是真的，這不會發生在我身上。”我開始哭起來。

The doctors rushed in and immediately a series of tests were taken. Then they gave me the news I already knew. I was depressed and angry.
這時大夫衝了進來，立即開始給我做一系列檢查，然後告訴了我這個已知道的事實。我沮喪、憤怒。

I hated the world, and the only question I had was, WHY ME?
我恨這個世界，我唯一的問題是：爲什麼會是我？

I stayed this way for quite some time. Everyone tried to cheer me up. My best friend came to see me every day and she told me stories about school. She read to me but I wanted to be in school too. It was my school!
我一直處於這種狀態相當長一段時間。每個人都想盡辦法讓我快樂起來。我最好的朋友天天過來看我，她向我講學校裏的事，爲我朗讀。可是我也想去上學啊，那是我的學校！

So one day I walked up to my Dad and told him, "Daddy, I want to go to school." "That’s great!" my father exclaimed, "There is a new school not very far from here; I will get you admitted there."
於是，有一天我對爸爸說想去上學。“那太好了！”爸爸歡呼道，“離這不太遠，有一所新學校，我會設法讓你在那兒入學。”

"A different school? No! I want to go to my school," I said.
“另一所學校嗎？我不去，我想去我的學校。”我說。

My father tried to explain that I would not be able to fit in, but I was adamant6. After some time he gave up.
爸爸儘量向我解釋現在我已不再適合原先那所學校，但是我非常堅持。一段時間後，他放棄了。

"I am not going to a blind school," I thought.
“我是不會去盲人學校的。”我心裏想。

A few weeks went by and I tried to occupy myself and not think of my eyes, but nothing helped. I was totally consumed by grief7. I was totally frustrated. I could not even get up and go to the living room by myself. I needed somebody all the time. I felt very dependent and helpless.
幾個禮拜過去了，我努力讓自己忙起來不去想眼睛的事，可是沒有用，我完全被憂傷吞噬了，十分的沮喪、懊惱。我甚至不能獨自站起來走到起居室。我無時無刻不需要別人的陪伴，我覺得自己是那麼地依賴別人，內心十分無助。

I was standing in my balcony wondering, "Why Me?" when it began to rain. The whiff of the wet mud smell filled my lungs and suddenly I felt someone whisper in my heart, "Life is full of choices, so choose to be happy."
我站在陽臺上心裏疑惑着“爲什麼是我？”，這時雨開始下起來。一陣溼潤的泥土氣息沁入了我的心脾，突然間我感到內心有個聲音在悄悄對我說：“生活充滿了各種各樣的選擇，所以你應該選擇幸福。”

That night when I slept, I kept dreaming of the words. When I woke up the next morning, I felt happy and hopeful and suddenly I knew things would get better. Those words that was whispered in my heart made me seriously think about the situation I was in, and I knew I had the choice of either sitting and sulking1 about life or to go out there and learn to live a wholesome2 life. I knew that my choice was to live life to the full.
那天晚上睡夢中這些話一直不斷地出現。第二天清晨醒來，我感覺心情愉快，心中充滿了希望，突然間我覺得一切都會好起來。那些在我心中被悄悄說出的話讓我開始認真思量起自己的處境來。我明白現在自己既可選擇沉淪於生命帶給我的厄運中坐以待斃，也可以選擇走出逆境，學着過一種健康向上的生活。

At breakfast I announced to my Dad, "Daddy, I want to go to blind school. Would you take me there?" My father hugged me and said, "My dear, I am proud of you. Of course I will take you there."
早餐的時候，我向爸爸宣佈：“爸爸，我想去盲人學校，你會帶我去那兒嗎？”爸爸擁抱着我說：“親愛的，我爲你感到驕傲，我當然會帶你去那兒。”

My mother hugged me too. I knew she was overwhelmed3 with emotion. I knew she had tears in her eyes, because I felt them.
媽媽也擁抱着我，我知道她被翻涌的感情淹沒了，我也知道她眼中含着淚，因爲我感覺到了她的淚珠。

That morning was the new beginning. I went to this school and I heard a lot of children. I finally heard the voices of children after months of waiting. My new teacher escorted me to the class where we were taught to write in Braille4 and to type in Braille. The best part, we had our own library with books in Braille. There I learned how to read and write in Braille, though I must admit that I found it quite difficult.
那天早晨是一個新的開始。我去了學校，聽到了許多孩子們的聲音，在數月的等待後，我終於又聽到了他們的聲音。我的新老師護送我到了班級，在這裏老師將教我們用盲文來書寫，用盲文來打印。最棒的是，我們還有自己的盲文圖書館。在這兒，我學會了如何讀寫盲文，儘管我必須承認這真的相當難。

One day, I sat in the library trying to read but I was unable to. I became very disappoint-ed and sad. My father came in and sat next to me. He noticed that I was unusually quiet and knew something must be wrong; he always knew.
一天，當我坐在圖書館裏試着閱讀的時候，卻發現自己辦不到，我變得非常沮喪和難過。爸爸走過來坐在了我旁邊。他注意到我異乎尋常的安靜，便知道一定出了什麼問題，他總是會知道。

"Hi, sweetheart, how is school going on?" he asked.
“嗨，親愛的，書讀得怎麼樣啊？”他問道。

"Daddy, I can’t do this. I try and try but I just don’t get it sometimes. I don’t know if I am ever going to learn to read Braille. It is too tough," I cried.
“爸爸，我做不到，我試了又試，可有時我還是做不到。我不知道自己是否會學會盲文，它太難了。”我哭起來。

Daddy just held me tight and said, "Do you remember that we went to the temple which is on the top of a mountain? When we were climbing the mountain, my legs started aching. I sat down and said, 'I can’t see the temple. Where is it?’ You told me, 'Daddy, the temple is there. You can’t see it because it is covered with fog. Although you can’t see it, I know it is there. I also know you will climb up to it. I will make sure you do.’"
爸爸緊緊地握住我對我說：“還記得那次我們去山頂上的那座廟嗎？爬山的時候，我的腿開始疼痛，然後我坐下來問你：‘我看不見廟。它在哪兒？’你告訴我：‘爸爸，廟就在那兒，你看不見是因爲它被霧遮蓋住了。儘管你看不見，我卻知道它就在那兒，我也知道你會爬上去的，我保證你辦得到。’”

"Well sweetheart, that day you showed me that just you can’t see something, does not mean it is not there. So although climbing the mountain was difficult I knew the temple was there and I knew I would reach it."
“親愛的，那天你向我表明看不見什麼東西並不意味着那個東西不在那兒。所以，儘管爬山很艱難，但我知道廟就在那兒，我也知道自己會爬上去。”

I was clear about what my Dad wanted me to understand.
我清楚爸爸想讓我明白什麼。

I went back to school and started with new vigor. Very soon I could read. One day my friends and I talked about ourselves. I spoke about how beautiful the world looks and how I missed seeing it. And the one thing I most missed seeing, was my parents.
我回到了學校，以嶄新的精神面貌又開始了學習，不久我就發現自己可以閱讀了。一天我和朋友們聊天。我感慨世界看起來是多麼美麗，我又是多麼懷念能看到它的日子，而我最懷念的就是我父母的樣子。

After I said that, I was very quiet, just thinking, when the girl next to me said, "You are lucky you know. You have at least seen them. I have just heard them. You have seen flowers. I can just imagine how they look and I can only smell them. I have been told there are many colors in this world but I don’t understand what color means."
說完這些之後，我沉默着，心裏想着事情，這時我旁邊的女孩說：“你知道嗎，你很幸運，至少你還見過他們，而我卻僅僅聽過他們的聲音。你看到過花朵，我卻只能聞到它們的氣味，想象它們的樣子。別人告訴我這個世界有很多種色彩，可我卻不明白這些色彩到底意味着什麼。”

After listening to her for the first time in two years I felt lucky to have at least pictures to relate to the world. And on that day I learnt that although the light in my eyes is gone, I must see the world with the light in my heart.
聽完她的話，兩年裏我第一次感到自己幸運，因爲我腦中至少還保存有這個世界的畫面。那一天，我明白了儘管現實世界中的光亮永遠從我面前消失了，但我一定會用內心的明燈來看這個世界.