成功婚姻的祕訣

For many married couples, falling in love and saying "I do" was the easy part. Living happily ever after is the part that takes a whole lot of work.

對於許多的已婚夫婦來說，墜入愛河和說“我願意”非常容易。但從此以後過上幸福美滿的生活則需要付出大量努力。

My family history doesn't have the best track record when it comes to the vow "until death do us part." My parents divorced when I was 18, and on my Mom's side alone, not one single marriage has lasted (keep in mind, she's one of eight siblings). One might think this would make me a cynic when it comes to marriage - but for some unexplainable reason, that's not the case. Maybe I'm an idealist, but I think you can fall in love with your best friend, grow old together, and even live happily ever after.

在履行結婚誓言“直到死亡將我們分開”方面，我的家族並沒有最好的記錄。在我18歲的時候，我的父母離婚了，單單就我母親這邊，沒有一段婚姻是長久的（記住哦，她可是有8個兄弟姐妹的）。可能你們會覺得我對待婚姻的態度應該是憤世嫉俗的，但我卻覺得人們可以與好朋友相戀，一起慢慢變老，自此以後過上幸福美滿的生活。

I sought out some honest advice from real people who might have insight as to what makes a marriage stand the distance. I reached out to all the married couples and divorcées I knew and asked them the burning question, "What's the secret to making a marriage successful?" Read their words of wisdom below:

在什麼能使婚姻長久方面，我詢問了對此頗有見解的朋友，他們給了我一些真誠的建議。我聯繫了我認識的所有已婚夫婦和離婚人士，問了他們一個重要的問題，“成功的婚姻有什麼祕訣呢？”下面就是他們的智慧語錄：

1. Share everything with each other. Most importantly, everything you are feeling. There is no way to be on common ground if you don't communicate how you're feeling.

1. 任何事情都一起分享。最爲重要的是，要分享你的所有感受。如果不交流彼此的想法，那無論如何你們都不會找到共同點。

2. Whatever bad stuff happens, remember this, too, will pass.

2. 不管發生多麼糟糕的事，都要記住這一點：一切都將成爲過去。

3. Affection breeds more affection. Touch each other, kiss each other good morning, and have plenty of sex (even when you're old!). It's too easy to get out of the habit, which makes you feel distant. Intimacy and physical affection really help keep you connected.

3. 好感會帶來更多的好感。觸碰彼此、相互親吻道聲早上好，還有滾牀單（即使當你們老了！）。改掉這個習慣太難了，如果戒掉，你們之間就會產生距離感。親密無間和身體上的接觸能讓你們心靈相通。

4. Children can be stressful, but they, too, will grow up.

4. 孩子們可能承受着很大的壓力，但他們總會長大的。

5. Let the little things go and think big picture. Since you're in it for the long haul, are you really going to care who did or didn't run the dishwasher when you look back in 10 years? Remind yourself that your relationship is much, much bigger than any one minor incident.

5. 不要糾結於小事，要思考大局。既然你想要婚姻長久，那麼十年後當你回顧過去，你真的會糾結於誰開了洗碗機這個問題嗎？謹記這一點：你們的愛情遠比一些小事重要得多。

6. Fill the fridge with his favorites - it's easy to do, so just do it.

6. 冰箱裏裝滿他愛吃的食物——做到這一點太容易了，行動起來吧。

7. Take time for yourself to do what you love, what makes you happy and gives you energy - being successful as a couple will only work if each of you is independent and fulfilled as an individual.

7. 抽時間做自己愛做的事、令自己高興的事、能讓自己充滿活力的事——如果婚姻關係中，兩個人都很獨立、有理想，那麼這樣的婚姻纔會成功。