Facebook首席運營官給職場女性的三個建議

So for any of us in this room today, let's start out by admitting we're lucky. We don't live in the world our mothers lived in, our grandmothers lived in, where career choices for women were so limited. And if you're in this room today, most of us grew up in a world where we had basic civil rights, and amazingly, we still live in a world where some women don't have them. But all that aside, we still have a problem, and it's a real problem. And the problem is this: Women are not making it to the top of any profession anywhere in the world. The numbers tell the story quite clearly. 190 heads of state -- nine are women. Of all the people in parliament in the world, 13 percent are women. In the corporate sector, women at the top, C-level jobs, board seats -- tops out at 15, 16 percent. The numbers have not moved since 2002 and are going in the wrong direction. And even in the non-profit world, a world we sometimes think of as being led by more women, women at the top: 20 percent.

今天在座的各位，我們先承認我們是幸運的。我們沒有生活在我們母親和我們祖母生活過的那個世界，在那時女性的職業選擇是非常有限的。今天在座的各位，大多數人成長於一個女性有基本公民權的世界。令人驚訝的是我們還生活在一個有些女性還沒有這些權利的世界。但除上所述，我們還有一個問題，它是一個實際問題，這問題是：在世界各地，女性沒擔任任何職業的高管職位。這些數據很清楚地告訴我們這實情。190個國家元首裏，九位是女性領導。在世界上議會的總人數中，13%是女性議員。在公司部門，女性佔據高位，C級職位，董事會席位——高管職位比例佔15%，16%。 自從2002年起這數據沒變化過，且有下降趨勢。即使在非營利行業，我們有時認爲這一行業會有更多女性領導者，但女性領導人只佔20%。

We also have another problem, which is that women face harder choices between professional success and personal fulfillment. A recent study in the U.S. showed that, of married senior managers, two-thirds of the married men had children and only one-third of the married women had children. A couple of years ago, I was in New York, and I was pitching a deal, and I was in one of those fancy New York private equity offices you can picture. And I'm in the meeting -- it's about a three-hour meeting -- and two hours in, there kind of needs to be that bio break, and everyone stands up, and the partner running the meeting starts looking really embarrassed. And I realized he doesn't know where the women's room is in his office. So I start looking around for moving boxes, figuring they just moved in, but I don't see any. And so I said, "Did you just move into this office?" And he said, "No, we've been here about a year." And I said, "Are you telling me that I am the only woman to have pitched a deal in this office in a year?" And he looked at me, and he said, "Yeah. Or maybe you're the only one who had to go to the bathroom."

我們還面臨着另一個問題，就是女性在職業成功和個人價值實現中所面臨的艱難選擇。美國最近一個研究表明，在已婚高管人員中，三分之二的已婚男性高管人員有孩子，只有三分之一的已婚女性高管人員有孩子。幾年前，我到紐約去談一個協議，在一個你能想象到的那種別緻的紐約私募投資辦事處。我參加了這個會議——會議時常約有3小時——2小時後有去盥洗室的休息時間，所有人都站起來，會議組織者開始顯得很尷尬。我意識到他不知道在他辦公室哪裏是女洗手間。所以我開始尋找移動廁所，想着他們可能剛搬進來，但我沒有看到任何移動廁所。然後我說，“你是剛搬到這辦公室嗎？” 他說，“不是，我們在這兒已經有一年了。” 我說，“你能否告訴我這一年來，我是唯一一個來這間辦公室的女性嗎？” 他看着我，說到， “是的。或者說你可能是唯一一個要上女洗手間的。”

So the question is, how are we going to fix this? How do we change these numbers at the top? How do we make this different? I want to start out by saying, I talk about this -- about keeping women in the workforce -- because I really think that's the answer. In the high-income part of our workforce, in the people who end up at the top -- Fortune 500 CEO jobs, or the equivalent in other industries -- the problem, I am convinced, is that women are dropping out. Now people talk about this a lot, and they talk about things like flextime and mentoring and programs companies should have to train women. I want to talk about none of that today, even though that's all really important. Today I want to focus on what we can do as individuals. What are the messages we need to tell ourselves? What are the messages we tell the women who work with and for us? What are the messages we tell our daughters?

所以問題是，我們該怎樣解決這樣的尷尬？我們怎樣改變這些高管職位的比例？我們怎樣使這件事變得不一樣？我首先想說，說說這個——女性就職——因爲我確認這就是答案。在職場高收入羣體中，在高管人員中——財富500強首席執行官，或其它行業的類似職業——我確信女性被排除在外。當下人們對此談了很多，他們談到像彈性工作制、指導和培訓女性的計劃。今天我不想談這些，儘管這些都非常重要。今天我想談的是作爲個人我們能做什麼。我們要告訴自己什麼？ 我們要告訴女同事和女員工什麼？我們要告訴女兒的事是什麼？

Now, at the outset, I want to be very clear that this speech comes with no judgments. I don't have the right answer. I don't even have it for myself. I left San Francisco, where I live, on Monday, and I was getting on the plane for this conference. And my daughter, who's three, when I dropped her off at preschool, did that whole hugging-the-leg, crying, "Mommy, don't get on the plane" thing. This is hard. I feel guilty sometimes. I know no women, whether they're at home or whether they're in the workforce, who don't feel that sometimes. So I'm not saying that staying in the workforce is the right thing for everyone.

現在首先，我想澄清，這個演講不帶有任何評判。我也沒有正確答案。甚至對我自己，我也沒有完全的答案。在週一，我離開我生活的加利福尼亞，我坐上飛機趕赴這次會談。當我送我三歲的女兒到幼兒園時，她緊緊抱緊我的腿，哭喊着“媽咪，不要上飛機”之類的話。這很難受。有時我感到內疚。我知道無論是家庭主婦，還是職業女性，有時她們都會感同身受。所以我不會說對所有人說，待在職場是件正確的事。

My talk today is about what the messages are if you do want to stay in the workforce, and I think there are three. One, sit at the table. Two, make your partner a real partner. And three, don't leave before you leave.

今天我的演講是要說，如果你真正想待在職場該怎麼做。我有3條建議。一，坐在桌旁。二，讓你的伴侶成爲一個真正的合作伙伴。三，在你離開前別放棄。

Number one: sit at the table. Just a couple weeks ago at Facebook, we hosted a very senior government official, and he came in to meet with senior execs from around Silicon Valley. And everyone kind of sat at the table. And then he had these two women who were traveling with him who were pretty senior in his department, and I kind of said to them, "Sit at the table. Come on, sit at the table," and they sat on the side of the room. When I was in college my senior year, I took a course called European Intellectual History. Don't you love that kind of thing from college? I wish I could do that now. And I took it with my roommate, Carrie, who was then a brilliant literary student -- and went on to be a brilliant literary scholar -- and my brother -- smart guy, but a water-polo-playing pre-med, who was a sophomore.

第一，坐在桌旁。 僅僅幾周前，在Facebook我們主持了一個非常高級行政官員會議，他（馬克•扎克伯格）與來自硅谷的高級行政官員一一見面。每個人都坐在桌邊。和他一起來的還有2名女性，她們在他的部門也佔非常高的職位。我對她們說，“坐在桌邊。來吧，坐在桌邊。” 她們坐在了屋子的一邊。 我在大四時，選修了一節歐洲思想史的課程。你們喜愛大學的這類課程嗎？我希望我現在能上這門課。我和我室友卡麗一起學習， 她那時是一個才華橫溢的文科生——然後成爲了一個傑出的學者。我的弟弟——一個聰明的小夥子，但他愛打水球，他大二，念醫學預科。

The three of us take this class together. And then Carrie reads all the books in the original Greek and Latin, goes to all the lectures. I read all the books in English and go to most of the lectures. My brother is kind of busy. He reads one book of 12 and goes to a couple of lectures, marches himself up to our room a couple days before the exam to get himself tutored. The three of us go to the exam together, and we sit down. And we sit there for three hours -- and our little blue notebooks -- yes, I'm that old. And we walk out, and we look at each other, and we say, "How did you do?" And Carrie says, "Boy, I feel like I didn't really draw out the main point on the Hegelian dialectic." And I say, "God, I really wish I had really connected John Locke's theory of property with the philosophers who follow." And my brother says, "I got the top grade in the class." "You got the top grade in the class? You don't know anything."

我們三人一起選修這課。然後卡麗讀了所有希臘文和拉丁文的原版書籍，去了所有的課。我讀了所有的英語書，上了大多數的課。我弟弟有點忙。他讀了12本書中的一本，去上了幾節課，在考試前幾天他來到我們房間自己輔導了一下。我們三個一起去考試了，我們坐下來。我們帶着我們的小藍筆記本考了有3個小時，是的。我們走出來，互相看着對方，我們說，“你考得怎樣？” 卡麗說，“哎，我感到我真沒有答對有關黑格爾辯證法的要點。” 我說，“上帝啊，我真希望我考試時能想到學過的洛克的產權理論和相關的哲學家。” 我弟弟卻說， “我會是班裏考得最好的。” “你會是班裏考得最好的？你啥都不知道。”

The problem with these stories is that they show what the data shows: women systematically underestimate their own abilities. If you test men and women, and you ask them questions on totally objective criteria like GPAs, men get it wrong slightly high, and women get it wrong slightly low. Women do not negotiate for themselves in the workforce. A study in the last two years of people entering the workforce out of college showed that 57 percent of boys entering, or men, I guess, are negotiating their first salary, and only seven percent of women. And most importantly, men attribute their success to themselves, and women attribute it to other external factors. If you ask men why they did a good job, they'll say, "I'm awesome. Obviously. Why are you even asking?" If you ask women why they did a good job, what they'll say is someone helped them, they got lucky, they worked really hard. Why does this matter? Boy, it matters a lot because no one gets to the corner office by sitting on the side, not at the table, and no one gets the promotion if they don't think they deserve their success, or they don't even understand their own success.

這類故事的問題反映了數據中表明的事實：女性整體低估了自身的能力。如果你測試男性和女性，你問他們問題，比如像績點這樣完全客觀的領域，男性會錯誤地高估一些，女性則會錯誤地低估一些。女性在職場不會爲自身利益去談判。過去兩年有一個關於人們從學校進入職場的一個調查表明，57%的男生或男性（我猜）進入職場，會協商他們的第一份薪水，只有7%的女性會去協商。更重要的是，男性把他們的成功歸功於他們自身，而女性則歸功於其他外部因素。如果你問男性爲什麼他們能把工作做好，他們會說，“我棒極了。這是顯而易見的。這還用問嗎？” 如果你問女性是什麼使她們在工作中出色，她們會說有人幫助她們，她們很幸運，她們工作異常努力。這個問題很重要嗎？大家注意了，這關係很大，因爲沒人只坐在旁邊（而不是桌邊）就得到辦公室的職位。沒人得到提升是因爲他們不認爲應該享有成功，或者他們甚至不明白自己的成功。

I wish the answer were easy. I wish I could just go tell all the young women I work for, all these fabulous women, "Believe in yourself and negotiate for yourself. Own your own success." I wish I could tell that to my daughter. But it's not that simple. Because what the data shows, above all else, is one thing, which is that success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. And everyone's nodding, because we all know this to be true.

我但願這答案是簡單的。我希望我儘可能告訴我共事過的所有年輕女性，這些非常棒的女性， “相信自己，要爲自身利益討價還價。把握住你的成功。” 我也希望能把這個告訴我的女兒。但這沒那麼簡單。因爲首先數據表明的一件事是，成功和好人緣對於男性來說是積極影響的而對於女性來說是負面影響。每個人都贊同，因爲我們大家都知道這是真的。

There's a really good study that shows this really well. There's a famous Harvard Business School study on a woman named Heidi Roizen. And she's an operator in a company in Silicon Valley, and she uses her contacts to become a very successful venture capitalist. In 2002 -- not so long ago -- a professor who was then at Columbia University took that case and made it Howard Roizen. And he gave the case out, both of them, to two groups of students. He changed exactly one word: "Heidi" to "Howard." But that one word made a really big difference. He then surveyed the students, and the good news was the students, both men and women, thought Heidi and Howard were equally competent, and that's good. The bad news was that everyone liked Howard. He's a great guy. You want to work for him. You want to spend the day fishing with him. But Heidi? Not so sure. She's a little out for herself. She's a little political. You're not sure you'd want to work for her. This is the complication. We have to tell our daughters and our colleagues, we have to tell ourselves to believe we got the A, to reach for the promotion, to sit at the table, and we have to do it in a world where, for them, there are sacrifices they will make for that, even though for their brothers, there are not.

一個非常棒的研究也很好地表明瞭這一觀點。哈佛商學院有一個著名研究是關於一位叫海蒂•羅森的女性。她是硅谷一家公司的負責人，她使用她的關係成爲一名非常成功的風險資本家。在2002年——就是不久前——當時在哥倫比亞大學的一位教授接了這個案例，把它改成霍華德•羅森。他把這兩個案例向兩組學生展示。他只改變了一個詞：海蒂改成霍華德。但這個詞就造成了非常大的差異。然後他調查了學生。好消息是男生和女生都認爲海蒂和霍華德能力相當，這很好。但壞消息是每個人都喜歡霍華德。他是個了不起的人，大家都想和他共事，大家都想和他去釣魚。但海蒂呢？不好說。她有點只爲自己着想，有點政治手腕。大家不太想和她共事。這就是複雜之處。我們得告訴我們的女兒和我們的同事、我們得告訴我們自己，要相信我們能獲得A，得到提升，坐在桌邊。在這個世上，女性要爭取這些就得做出犧牲，儘管她們的兄弟不用爲此而付出犧牲。

The saddest thing about all of this is that it's really hard to remember this. And I'm about to tell a story which is truly embarrassing for me, but I think important. I gave this talk at Facebook not so long ago to about 100 employees, and a couple hours later, there was a young woman who works there sitting outside my little desk, and she wanted to talk to me. I said, okay, and she sat down, and we talked. And she said, "I learned something today. I learned that I need to keep my hand up." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, you're giving this talk, and you said you were going to take two more questions. And I had my hand up with lots of other people, and you took two more questions. And I put my hand down, and I noticed all the women put their hand down, and then you took more questions, only from the men." And I thought to myself, wow, if it's me -- who cares about this, obviously -- giving this talk -- and during this talk, I can't even notice that the men's hands are still raised, and the women's hands are still raised, how good are we as managers of our companies and our organizations at seeing that the men are reaching for opportunities more than women? We've got to get women to sit at the table.

關於這件事的最可悲的是很難記住它。我將講個對我來說是個真正尷尬的故事，但我認爲它很重要。在Facebook，不久前我給大約100名員工做關於這個話題的演講。幾小時後，在Facebook工作的一個年輕女性坐到我小桌子旁邊，她想和我談談。我說，好，她坐了下來，我們談了起來。她說，“我今天學了一些東西。我知道我需要舉起手。” 我說，“你是什麼意思？” 她說，“你在演講時，你說你會回答2個以上問題。我和其他一些人舉起手，你回答了2個以上問題。我放下手，我注意到所有女性都把手放了下來，然後你又回答了很多問題，僅有男性參與。” 我自己想了一下——如果換成是我，做這次演講誰會在乎這個——在這演講中，我甚至沒注意到男士們的手是不是還一直舉着，女士們的手是不是還一直舉着，當我們作爲公司和組織的經理的時候，我們能看見多少男性比女性有更多機會的情況？我們得讓女性坐到桌子邊上。

Message number two: make your partner a real partner. I've become convinced that we've made more progress in the workforce than we have in the home. The data shows this very clearly. If a woman and a man work full-time and have a child, the woman does twice the amount of housework the man does, and the woman does three times the amount of childcare the man does. So she's got three jobs or two jobs, and he's got one. Who do you think drops out when someone needs to be home more? The causes of this are really complicated, and I don't have time to go into them. And I don't think Sunday football-watching and general laziness is the cause.

第二條：讓你的伴侶成爲一個真正的合作伙伴。我已經確信我們在職場中比在家庭中起了更大的作用。數據也很清楚地表明這點。如果一個女性和一個男性都是全職並有一個小孩，女性比起男性要做兩倍多家務活兒，女性比起男性做了三倍多照顧嬰兒的事。所以她承擔了2份或3份工作，而他只有一份。當有人必須在家多幹活時，誰應該留下來？ 這個理由實在太複雜，我沒有時間深入講它們。但我也不認爲週日看美式足球和日常懶惰是理由。

I think the cause is more complicated. I think, as a society, we put more pressure on our boys to succeed than we do on our girls. I know men that stay home and work in the home to support wives with careers, and it's hard. When I go to the Mommy-and-Me stuff and I see the father there, I notice that the other mommies don't play with him. And that's a problem, because we have to make it as important a job, because it's the hardest job in the world to work inside the home, for people of both genders, if we're going to even things out and let women stay in the workforce. Studies show that households with equal earning and equal responsibility also have half the divorce rate. And if that wasn't good enough motivation for everyone out there, they also have more -- how shall I say this on this stage? -- they know each other more in the biblical sense as well.

我認爲理由是更加複雜的。我認爲，作爲一個社會，我們總是更希望男孩子們成功，女孩子則壓力小些。我知道讓居家男人呆在家裏做內務支持職場妻子很難。當我去“媽咪和我”的培訓課時，看到那裏的父親，我留意到其他媽咪不願和他相處。這就是個問題，因爲我們得把內務變成一個重要的工作，因爲居家工作是世界上最難的工作。無論男人女人，我們只有平分了這些事，女性纔可能留在職場。研究表明夫妻收入相等、且夫妻分擔責任相當的家庭也有50%的離婚率。如果這數據並不那麼鼓舞人，還有更多的，在這個講臺我該怎麼講呢？夫妻雙方對於彼此的瞭解，不僅是做愛這麼簡單。

Message number three: don't leave before you leave. I think there's a really deep irony to the fact that actions women are taking -- and I see this all the time -- with the objective of staying in the workforce actually lead to their eventually leaving. Here's what happens: We're all busy. Everyone's busy. A woman's busy. And she starts thinking about having a child, and from the moment she starts thinking about having a child, she starts thinking about making room for that child. "How am I going to fit this into everything else I'm doing?" And literally from that moment, she doesn't raise her hand anymore, she doesn't look for a promotion, she doesn't take on the new project, she doesn't say, "Me. I want to do that." She starts leaning back. The problem is that -- let's say she got pregnant that day, that day -- nine months of pregnancy, three months of maternity leave, six months to catch your breath -- fast-forward two years, more often -- and as I've seen it -- women start thinking about this way earlier -- when they get engaged, when they get married, when they start thinking about trying to have a child, which can take a long time. One woman came to see me about this, and I kind of looked at her -- she looked a little young. And I said, "So are you and your husband thinking about having a baby?" And she said, "Oh no, I'm not married." She didn't even have a boyfriend. I said, "You're thinking about this just way too early."

建議三：在你離開前別放棄。我認爲這是一個非常深刻的諷刺。對於女性所做的事而言——我一直目睹類似情況的發生——女性希望留在職場這個目標，往往導致它們最終不得不離開職場。曾發生這樣的事：我們都忙；每個人都很忙；作爲一個女人也很忙。她開始考慮生小孩。從她開始考慮生小孩的時候起，她開始考慮爲孩子準備房間。 “我該如何調整孩子這件事和手頭上的其他事呢？” 言下之意，她不再舉起她的手，她不尋求提升，她不做新的計劃，她不會說，“我，我想做那個。” 她開始退縮。這是個問題。讓我們說說她懷孕的那段日子，9個月的懷胎，3個月的產假，6個月來調養休息，快速調整要2年，更尋常的是——正如我看到女性開始過早考慮這事，當她們有約會或者結婚時，當她們開始考慮要小孩，這會花相當長的一段時間。一位女性關於此事來找我， 我看着她，她顯得有點年輕。 我說，“那麼你和你丈夫考慮要小孩了？” 她說，“哦不，我還沒結婚。” 她甚至沒有男友。 我說，“你考慮這個太早了吧。”

But the point is that what happens once you start kind of quietly leaning back? Everyone who's been through this -- and I'm here to tell you, once you have a child at home, your job better be really good to go back, because it's hard to leave that kid at home -- your job needs to be challenging. It needs to be rewarding. You need to feel like you're making a difference. And if two years ago you didn't take a promotion and some guy next to you did, if three years ago you stopped looking for new opportunities, you're going to be bored because you should have kept your foot on the gas pedal. Don't leave before you leave. Stay in. Keep your foot on the gas pedal, until the very day you need to leave to take a break for a child -- and then make your decisions. Don't make decisions too far in advance, particularly ones you're not even conscious you're making.

但關鍵是，一旦你開始退縮下來，接下來會發生什麼呢？每個人都會經歷這個。在這兒我告訴你，一旦在家你有了孩子，你真的最好回到你的工作中去，因爲把小孩留在家太難了，你的工作得有挑戰性。它也得有回報。你得感覺到世界因你而變。如果2年前你沒有得到提升，在你旁邊的一位男士升職了；如果三年前你放棄尋找新的機會，你會覺得很無趣，因爲你本應該緊踩油門加油的。在你離開前別放棄。保住工作。 緊踩油門，除非到了你需要離開的那一天——爲了孩子休假，然後做出自己的決定。不要提前做太長遠決定，特別是你甚至不曉得自己該做怎樣的決定。

My generation really, sadly, is not going to change the numbers at the top. They're just not moving. We are not going to get to where 50 percent of the population -- in my generation, there will not be 50 percent of [women] at the top of any industry. But I'm hopeful that future generations can. I think a world that was run where half of our countries and half of our companies were run by women, would be a better world. And it's not just because people would know where the women's bathrooms are, even though that would be very helpful. I think it would be a better world. I have two children. I have a five-year-old son and a two-year-old daughter. I want my son to have a choice to contribute fully in the workforce or at home, and I want my daughter to have the choice to not just succeed, but to be liked for her accomplishments.

我這一代的女性非常可惜，沒能改變高管職位的數量。女人們就是待在原地。我們沒能達到50%的高管職位——在任何行業的高管職位中，女性都未達到50%。但我希望未來一代人可以做到。我認爲我們世界上半數國家和半數公司會由女性所領導，那將會是一個更美好的世界。這不僅僅是因爲人們會知道女性洗手間在哪兒，儘管這也有非常大的幫助。我認爲它將會是一個更美好的世界。我有2個孩子，5歲的兒子和3歲的女兒。我想我兒子會選擇在職場或在家裏都盡心盡責，全心奉獻。我女兒不僅僅會做出成功的選擇，她會更熱愛她所做出的成就。

Thank you.

謝謝。