The people of Krikkit, said His High Judgmental Supremacy, Judiciary Pag, LIVR (the Learned, Impartial and Very Relaxed) Chairman of the Board of Judges at the Krikkit war Crimes Trial, are, well, you know, they’re just a bunch of real sweet guys, you know, who just happen to want to kill everybody. Hell, I feel the same way some mornings. Shit. OK, he continued, swinging his feet up on to the bench in front of him and pausing a moment to pick a thread off his Ceremonial Beach Loafers, so you wouldn’t necessarily want to share a Galaxy with these guys. This was true. The Krikkit attack on the Galaxy had been stunning. Thousands and thousands of huge Krikkit warships had leapt suddenly out of hyperspace and simultaneously attacked thousands and thousands of major worlds, first seizing vital material supplies for building the next wave, and then calmly zapping those worlds out of existence. The Galaxy, which had been enjoying a period of unusual peace and prosperity at the time, reeled like a man getting mugged in a meadow. I mean, continued Judiciary Pag, gazing round the ultra-modern (this was ten billion years ago, when “ultra-modern” meant lots of stainless steel and brushed concrete) and huge courtroom, these guys are just obsessed. This too was true, and is the only explanation anyone has yet managed to come up with for the unimaginable speed with which the people of Krikkit had pursued their new and absolute purpose the destruction of everything that wasn’t Krikkit. It is also the only explanation for their bewildering sudden grasp of all the hypertechnology involved in building their thousands of spaceships, and their millions of lethal white robots. These had really struck terror into the hearts of everyone who had encountered them in most cases, however, the terror was extremely short-lived, as was the person experiencing the terror. They were savage, single-minded flying battle machines. They wielded formidable multifunctional battleclubs which, brandished one way, would knock down buildings and, brandished another way, fired blistering Omni-Destructo Zap Rays and, brandished a third way, launched a hideous arsenal of grenades, ranging from minor incendiary devices to Maxi-Slorta Hypernuclear Devices which could take out a major sun. Simply striking the grenades with the battleclubs simultaneously primed them, and launched them with phenomenal accuracy over distances ranging from mere yards to hundreds of thousands of miles. OK, said Judiciary Pag again, so we won. He paused and chewed a little gum. We won, he repeated, but that’s no big deal. I mean a medium-sized galaxy against one little world, and how long did it take us? Clerk of the Court? M’lud? said the severe little man in black, rising. How long, kiddo? It is a trifle difficult, m’lud, to be precise in this matter. Time and distance… Relax, guy, be vague. I hardly like to be vague, m’lud, over such a… Bite the bullet and be it. The Clerk of the Court blinked at him. It was clear that like most of the Galactic legal profession he found Judiciary Pag (or Zipo Bibrok 5/108, as his private name was known, inexplicably, to be) a rather distressing figure. He was clearly a bounder and a cad. He seemed to think that the fact that he was the possessor of the finest legal mind ever discovered gave him the right to behave exactly as he liked, and unfortunately he appeared to be right. Er, well, m’lud, very approximately, two thousand years, the Clerk murmured unhappily. And how many guys zilched out? “版求星人——”最高法院审判长、帕格大人说道。他是版求战争罪审判庭上的LIVR（博学、公正、非常闲①）主席。“他们啊，对吧，他们只是一群挺好的家伙。只是不小心想要杀掉所有人而已。见鬼，我有时在早上也会这么想。他妈的。” “OK。”他突然把腿跷到前面的凳子上，从他的沙滩软皮正装休闲鞋上拔下一根线头，接着说，“所以，你不会太想跟他们呆在一个银河系的。” 的确如此。 版求人对银河系的攻击，是骇人听闻的。成千上万艘巨型版求战舰，在超空间中突然出现，同时攻击成千上万个星球。他们首先夺取重要物资供给线，以便下一波攻击使用，然后就无声无息地毁掉这些星球。 银河系，经历了长时间的、极度的和平与繁荣，此时，却像个在草丛里遭遇抢劫的旅人一样，软弱无助。 “我的意思是，”帕格环视那间超级先进的（这是几百年前，所以“超级先进”意思是很多钢铁和刷好的石灰）宽敞的法庭，继续道，“这些家伙只是着了魔。” 的确也如此。这是唯一能够解释、为什么版求星人能以如此不可想象的速度、实现他们所追寻的目标——毁灭版求星以外的一切。没人能想出其他的解释了。 这也是唯一能够解释、为什么他们如此突然地掌握了所有高新技术、得以制造成千上万的飞船和几百万夺命机器人。 这些机器人，能使所有遭遇过他们的人从心底感到恐惧——不过，在大多数情况下，这种恐惧极其短暂，因为那些遭遇的人会活得很短暂。这些机器人，是凶狠、蛮横的飞行战争机器。他们拥有威力强大的多功能战棒，用一种方式挥舞，便能将大楼震塌；用另一种方式挥舞，便能发射出灼人的全灭速杀射线；用第三种方式挥，便会从特大超核屠杀装置的小型燃烧器里，发出榴弹火墙。只需用战棒击打榴弹，就可以为它们填上火药，并将其精确发射到攻击目标，从几百码到上万里的距离皆可。 “OK。”帕格法官又说道，“总之咱们赢了。”他停下来，嚼了会儿口香糖，“咱们赢了。”他重复道，“不过这也没什么。我的意思是，一个中等大小的星系，打一颗小小的星球……用了多久来着？书记员？” “法官大人？”一个矮小的黑衣人站了起来，表情严肃。 “多久，孩子？” “法官大人，要准确的话，由于时间和空间的关系……” “放轻松，小伙子。说个大概。” “我很少说个大概，法官大人，这是很……” “那就忍一忍，说个大概吧。” 书记员眨眨眼。很显然，同银河系大多数法律专家一样，他发现这个帕格大人（或者说芝伯·毕博克 5%108，这是他那奇怪的真名）是个相当烦人的家伙。他显然是个粗人，是个流氓。他仿佛认为自己是世界上最懂法律的人，所以他能做自己想做的任何事。不幸的是，他似乎是对的。 “嗯，好吧，法官大人。粗略地说，两千年。”书记不快地咕哝着。 “挂了多少人？”
