邁入60歲 好多事你就不擔心了

There is a lot that is annoying, and even terrible, about aging. The creakiness of the body; the drifting of the meMory; the reprising of personal history ad nauseam, with only yourself to listen.

變老有太多惱人和糟糕的事情：身體變差，記憶力下降，沒完沒了地重複個人的過去，並且只有你一個聽眾。

But there is also something profoundly liberating about aging: an attitude, one that comes hard won. Only when you hit 60 can you begin to say, with great aplomb: “I’m too old for this.”

不過變老還包含一種深刻的解放：獲得一種得來不易的態度。只有到了60歲的時候，你才會開始泰然自若地説：“我太老了，這個不適合我。”

This line is about to become my personal mantra. I have been rehearsing it vigorously, amazed at how amply I now shrug off annoyances that once would have knocked me off my perch.

這句話將會成為我的個人箴言。我拼命地練習着這句話，然後驚訝地發現，對於那些曾經打擊過自己虛榮心的惱人之事，現在的我竟然已經不屑一顧了。

A younger woman advised me that “old” may be the wrong word, that I should consider I’m too wise for this, or too smart. But old is the word I want. I’ve earned it.

一位比我小的女性建議我説，“老”這個字可能用得不對，應該換成我太“明智”或者太“聰明”了，這個不適合我。但是“老”是我想要的，是我爭取到的。

And let’s just start with being an older woman, shall we? Let others feel bad about their chicken wings — and their bottoms, their necks and their multitude of creases and wrinkles. I’m too old for this. I spent years, starting before I was a teenager, feeling insecure about my looks.

先從作一個老女人開始吧？雞翅胳膊，臀部，脖子，一層層的褶子和皺紋，這些東西讓別人發愁去吧。我太老了，不在乎了。我已經花了太多時間憂心於自己的樣貌，在進入青少年時期之前就開始了。

No feature was spared. My hairline: Why did I have to have a widow’s peak, at 10? My toes: too short. My entire body: too fat, and once, even, in the depths of heartbreak, much too thin. Nothing felt right. Well, O.K., I appreciated my ankles. But that’s about it

沒有哪個部位能夠倖免。我的髮際線：為什麼我才十歲就非得有個寡婦尖？我的腳趾頭：太短。我的全身：太胖。然後有一次傷心至極時，我又嫌棄身體太單薄。總之沒有一個地方是稱心的。好吧，我對腳踝還挺滿意，不過僅此而已。

What torture we inflict upon ourselves. If we don’t whip ourselves into loathing, then mean girls, hidden like trolls under every one of life’s bridges, will do it for us.

我們在折磨着自己。如果不迫使自己厭惡自我，那麼刻薄的女孩子們，就像一座座生命之橋下藏着的巨怪一樣，會替我們來厭惡自己。

Even the vogue for strange-looking models is little comfort; those women look perfectly, beautifully strange, in a way that no one else does. Otherwise we would all be modeling.

連古怪模特的潮流都帶不來什麼安慰；她們看上去完美無瑕，怪得那麼美，怪得別人無法企及。要不然我們都可以去當模特了。

One day recently I emptied out an old trunk. It had been locked for years; I had lost the key and forgotten what was in there. But, curiosity getting the best of me on a rainy afternoon, I managed to pry it open with a screwdriver.

最近有一天，我打開了一箇舊箱子。因為把鑰匙弄丟了，這個箱子被鎖着很久，我也忘了裏面裝的都是些什麼。不過，在一個下雨的午後，在好奇心的驅使下，我用螺絲刀成功地打開了箱子。

It was full of photographs. There I was, ages 4 to 40. And I saw for the first time that even when I was in the depths of despair about my looks, I had been beautiful.

箱子裏面裝滿了我4歲到40歲的照片。我第一次發現，雖然對自己的長相曾深感絕望，可是曾經的我很美麗。

And there were all my friends; girls and women with whom I had commiserated countless times about hair, weight, all of it, doling out sympathy and praise, just as I expected it heaped upon me: beautiful, too. We were, we are, all beautiful. Just like our mothers told us, or should have. (Ahem.)

裏面還有我所有朋友的照片。對於她們的頭髮、體重等，我曾無數次地表示同情，偶爾會給她們一些安慰和讚美。不過正如我所料，現在看來她們也很美麗。我們曾經、現在都很美麗。我們的母親就是這麼告訴我們的，或者應該這麼告訴我們（嗯哼）。

Those smiles, radiant with youth, twinkled out of the past, reminding me of the smiles I know today, radiant with strength.

照片中的笑容，洋溢着青春的氣息，提醒着自己今日我所知的笑容散發着一股力量。

Young(er) women, take this to heart: Why waste time and energy on insecurity? I have no doubt that when I’m 80 I’ll look at pictures of myself when I was 60 and think how young I was then, how filled with joy and beauty.

年輕的女性們，你們要銘記在心：為何要把時間和精力浪費在安全感的缺乏上？毫無疑問，當我80歲的時候看着自己60歲的照片時，我就會想到自己當年是多麼的年輕，美麗和喜悦。

I’m happy to have a body that is healthy, that gets me where I want to go, that maybe sags and complains, but hangs in there. So maybe I’m too old for skintight jeans, too old for six-inch stilettos, too old for tattoos and too old for green hair.

我很高興自己有着健康的身體，它讓我能去自己想去的地方，或許它鬆鬆垮垮，偶有不適，不過還是堅持住了。所以可能我太老了，已經不適合穿緊身牛仔褲，不適合穿6寸的細高跟鞋，也不適合紋身，把頭髮染成綠色了。

Weight gain? Simply move to the looser end of the wardrobe, and stop hanging with Ben and Jerry. No big deal. Nothing to lose sleep over. Anyway, I’m too old for sleep, or so it seems most nights.

體重增加了？那就穿拿衣櫃裏的寬鬆款衣服好了，別整天跟本和傑瑞廝混（指Ben & Jerry's牌冰激凌——譯註）。這沒什麼大不了。不值得為之輾轉難眠。而且，我這把年紀不需要睡覺了，至少大多數的夜晚看起來是這樣。

Which leaves me a bit cranky in the daytime, so it is a good thing I can now work from home. Office politics? Sexism? I’ve seen it all. Watching men make more money, doing less work. Reading the tea leaves as positions shuffle, listening to the kowtow and mumble of stifled resentment.

睡眠減少會讓我在白天有點煩躁，所以現在能在家辦公還不錯。辦公室政治？性別歧視？我都見識過了。看着男人們幹活少拿錢多。在人事變動時看着杯中的茶葉讀解未來。聽着唯唯諾諾、敢怒不敢言的低語。

I want to tell my younger colleagues that it doesn’t matter. Except the sexism, which, like poison ivy, is deep-rooted: You weed the rampant stuff, but it pops up again.

我想對比我小的同事們説，這些都不重要。只有性別歧視不一樣，這東西就像毒漆藤，根深蒂固：它們遍地叢生，拔掉了也還會再冒出來。

What matters most is the work. Does it give you pleasure, or hope? Does it sustain your soul? My work as a climate activist is the hardest and most fascinating I’ve ever done. I’m too old for the dark forces, for hopelessness and despair. If everyone just kept their eyes on the ball, and followed through each swing, we’d all be more productive, and not just on the golf course.

最重要的是工作。它讓你感到快樂，或者有希望嗎？它能滋養你的心靈嗎？我目前是一名氣候環境活動人士，這是我所做過的最艱難、也最讓我着迷的工作。年紀大了，我已經沒興趣為黑暗勢力服務，也無意做無望和讓人絕望的工作。只要眼睛盯着球，每次揮杆都一個跟進動作，我們都會更有效率，不只是在高爾夫球場上。

The key to life is resilience, and I’m old enough to make such a bald statement. We will always be knocked down. It’s the getting up that counts. By the time you reach upper middle age, you have started over, and over again.

還原能力在生活中很關鍵，到了這個年紀，我大可以這麼直白地講。我們總有被生活擊倒的時候，能重新站起來才有價值。等到了中年，你就會發現，自己已經把人生重來不止一次了。

And, I might add, resilience is the key to feeling 15 again. Which is actually how I feel most of the time.

我還可以再加上一點，還原能力是重新找回自己15歲時感覺的祕訣。實際上，我現在大部分時間都像活在15歲。

But I am too old to try to change people. By now I’ve learned, the very hard way, that what you see in someone at the beginning is what you get forevermore. Most of us are receptive to a bit of behavior modification. But through decades of listening to people complain about marriages or lovers, I hear the same refrains.

但年紀大了，我就不願意費力去改變別人。付出大代價之後，我現在已經明白，你一開始看到一個人是什麼樣，他/她就永遠是什麼樣。大多數人都能接受一些行為習慣的矯正。但這幾十年聽人們抱怨自己的婚姻或愛人，我聽到永遠是一樣的內容。

I have come to realize that there is comfort in the predictability, even the ritualization, of relationship problems. They become a dance step; each partner can twirl through familiar moves, and do-si-do until the music stops.

我開始意識到，人際關係中的可預見性，甚至儀式化的東西，也會讓人覺得舒服。它們變成了一種舞步，每個伴侶都以熟悉的動作舞蹈，繞步換位，直到音樂停止。

Toxic people? Sour, spoiled people? I’m simply walking away; I have little fight left in me. It’s easier all around to accept that friendships have ebbs and flows, and indeed, there’s something quite beautiful about the organic nature of love.

碰上毒舌、脾氣不好和驕縱的人怎麼辦？直接走開，我已經沒什麼跟人斗的勁頭了。接受友情有起有落這一點會好過很多，而且愛的有機本質也的確有它動人的地方。

I used to think that one didn’t make friends as one got older, but I’ve learned that the opposite happens. Sometimes, unaccountably, a new person walks into your life, and you find you are never too old to love again. And again. (See resilience.)

過去我認為人年紀大了就不會再交朋友，但我已經發現也不是這麼回事。有時候，會有人莫名走進你的生活，然後你發現，自己並沒有老到不能愛的那一天。而且還會有下一次（這也是還原能力）。

One is never too old for desire. Having entered the twilight of my dating years, I can tell you it is much easier to navigate the Scylla and Charybdis of anticipation and disappointment when you’ve had plenty of experience with the shoals and eddies of shallow waters. Emphasis on shallow. By now, we know deep.

也不要説自己太老了，不該有什麼慾望。我已經進入約會時光的晚期，可以負責任地告訴你，當你在淺水區見識了足夠多的淺灘和漩渦，哪天要面對斯庫拉(Scylla)和卡律布狄斯(Charybdis)這個級別的希望與失望起落時，會容易許多。把注意力放在淺水上。到如今，我們已經知道深水是什麼樣了。

Take a pass on bad manners, on thoughtlessness, on unreliability, on carelessness and on all the other ways people distinguish themselves as unappealing specimens. Take a pass on your own unappealing behavior, too: the pining, yearning, longing and otherwise frittering away of valuable brainwaves that could be spent on Sudoku, or at least a jigsaw puzzle, if not that Beethoven sonata you loved so well in college.

對於別人的不禮貌、欠考慮、不靠譜和粗心大意，以及所有令人生厭的品質，忽略它們吧。也改改自己一些討人厭的習慣：執念、嚮往、強求和諸如此類浪費寶貴腦細胞的活動，這些腦細胞蠻可以用來玩數獨，或至少能玩個拼圖，如果不想聽大學時最愛的貝多芬奏鳴曲的話。

My new mantra is liberating. At least once a week I encounter a situation that in the old (young) days would have knocked me to my knees or otherwise spun my life off center.

我最新的箴言是解放自己。每週至少一次，我會遇到狀況，放在以前（年輕的時候），它會讓我崩潰，或讓生活失去重心。

Now I can spot trouble 10 feet away (believe me, this is a big improvement), and I can say to myself: Too old for this. I spare myself a great deal of suffering, and as we all know, there is plenty of that to be had without looking for more.

如今，在離它十英尺遠的地方，我就認出這類麻煩（相信我，這是個很大的進步），而且還能跟自己説：太老了，折騰不起。這讓我少受很多折磨，而且我們都知道，就算你不自找麻煩，這種事也有一大堆在前面等着你呢。

If there can be such a thing as a best-selling app like Yo, which satisfies so many urges to boldly announce ourselves, I want one called 2old4this. A signature kiss-off to all that was once vexatious. A goodbye to all that has done nothing but hold us back. That would be an app worth having. But, thankfully, I’m too old to need such a thing.

既然這世上會有Yo這樣滿足很多人大聲宣示自我需求的產品存在，還成為最暢銷應用，那我也想要一個叫“2old4this”（年紀大了，用不着）的應用。把它作為一個標籤，用來拒絕那些曾經讓你大傷腦筋的東西，用來跟所有無所助益卻又牽絆我們的事物説再見。這樣的應用應該挺值擁有。但是，謝天謝地，我年紀大了，用不着了。