那些年拒絕約會時用過的藉口
Turning down a date can be tricky, particularly when you don’t feel comfortable to blurt out: 'I'm just not that into you.'
拒絕約會也是需要技巧的，尤其當你不好意思直說“我只是沒那麼喜歡你而已”的時候。
Since being so honest can be embarrassing and awkward, many people scramble to come up with fake reasons for why they don't want to meet up with an eager admirer.
因爲太過坦誠可能會讓人感到尷尬和難堪，所以許多人絞盡腦汁地編造各種理由來說明他們爲什麼不願意和一位狂熱追求者見面。
But it seems that some users of the secret-sharing Whisper app went to a whole lot of trouble to wriggle out of a less-than-appealing date, offering up excuses that are strange, imaginative, and sometimes totally unbelievable.
但是在祕密分享程序“耳語”（Whisper）上，有些用戶爲了逃避不太想去的約會，千方百計編造出一些千奇百怪的、超乎想象、有時候甚至難以置信的理由來拒絕約會。
Clearly thrilled with their ingenious excuses, however, many people couldn’t wait to offer them up for public review - using the app's promise of anonymity to spill without repercussions.
這些用戶對自己機智的理由沾沾自喜，所以大多數人迫不及待地把這些理由分享到公共平臺上—用這款承諾匿名發佈內容的APP就可以在分享時無所顧忌了。
'I can't, I'm at Walmart,' one woman wrote when a man texted her about meeting up. When he checked in again three hours later to ask if she was home yet, she said: 'No, I'm still at Walmart.'
“不行，我在沃爾瑪呢”一位女士在男士短信邀約見面時這樣回答。三個小時後這位男士再一次問她是否回到家了，這位女士回答：“沒有，我還在沃爾瑪。”
Some people blamed their pets for making them unavailable, with one saying: 'My pet ferret has anxiety attacks so I can't be away from him for too long or he'll get worried about me.'
有些人抱怨自己的寵物讓他們忙得抽不開身，其中有一個人這樣說：“我的寵物雪貂焦慮症發作了，我不能離開它太久，要不它會擔心我的。
'Sorry, I've got an appointment to get my cat declawed that night,' wrote another, before admitting to Whisper users that she didn't actually have a cat.
另外有人說：“對不起，那天晚上我約了美容師給我的貓剪指甲”，之後她向“耳語”用戶承認其實她根本沒養貓。
One person said her excuse was that her 'goldfish drowned' - and added that the guy she fed that line to believed her, indicating that she may have dodged a bullet.
還有一個人的理由是她的“金魚淹死了”，之後她又補充說那位男士居然信了，這表明她可能成功躲過了一劫。
Others told lies that tempted fate, creating fake personal tragedies that left them otherwise 'occupied'.
另外有些人用類似造化弄人的謊言來編造個人的悲慘故事，以此表明他們真的“沒有時間”。
'Grandma was in the hospital,' one woman said she told a man who was pursuing her, before adding why the excuse almost didn't work: 'He offered to go with me.'
比如一位女士對她的追求者說：“我奶奶住院了。”但後來她說這個理由幾乎沒什麼用，因爲“他說他要和我一塊去。”
Another told a suitor: 'My friend just got in an accident and she's in the hospital.'
還有一位女士跟她的追求者這樣說：“我朋友出了點意外，她現在人在醫院。”
Of course, sometimes just saying that you're busy doesn't do the trick, as a determined person might continue to try to find a time that works. To prevent that possibility, some people just attempted to scare potential dates off.
當然，有時候單單表示你很忙是沒什麼用的，因爲一個有決心的人會接着跟你約其他合適的時間。爲了防止這種可能性，有些人試圖嚇跑這些潛在的約會對象。
'There's a porno of me circling the web right now. You OK with that?' wrote one, while another woman said she told a man: 'I have a male genitalia phobia.'
有一位女士這樣寫道：網上有一張我的豔照，你能接受嗎？”另外還有一位女士跟一位男士說：“我有男性生殖器恐懼症。”
'I've had a yeast infection for the past five years,' wrote a woman who chose a photo of a tray of doughnuts as a background for her words.
“過去五年裏我一直深受宮頸感染的困擾”，一位女士這樣寫道，然後她選擇了一張托盤上滿是甜甜圈的圖片來做她的文字背景。
Two girls even told men that going out with guys was against the rules, saying: 'My dad doesn't allow me to go out on dates by myself,' and 'I'm a nun and I'm not allowed to marry.'
還有兩位女生對男士們表示跟他們約會是不符合規定的，其中一位說：“我父親不允許我單獨出去約會”，另一位則說：“我是修女，不能結婚。”
Then, naturally, there is the option of telling someone you play for a different team, as one woman showed when she told a man: 'I think I just found out I'm not into guys. I'm homosexual.'
當然，你也可以選擇告訴別人你和他們不是一類人，比如一位女士在“耳語”上發了這樣的圖文，當時她跟那位男士說：“我剛剛發現我不喜歡男人，我是同性戀。”
Vocabulary
blurt out: 脫口而出
scramble:爭搶
wriggle out of：設法逃避
repercussion：影響
