負能量新聞TOP5：滿屏逗比都忘吃藥了嗎
1. 不跟隊形：英國馬拉松僅一人完成比賽，後面五千人跑錯路
5,000 runners have been told they fell short of completing a marathon by just 264m because of an organisational blunder.
由於組織方的重大失誤，5000名馬拉松賽的參賽者被告知自己沒能跑完全程，尚未完成的路程僅有264米（僅有？……）
Runners in the Marathon of the North took the wrong route along part of the course in Sunderland because they were given the wrong directions.
在桑德蘭市舉行的英國“北部馬拉松”賽上，參賽者跑錯了賽道，原因是參賽方設置的路標有誤。
Organisers said the marshalling error meant all but one of the competitors did not complete the full marathon.
組織者稱，由於出現了這個導致幾千人誤入歧途的大烏龍，所有的參賽者都沒有完成整個賽道，只有一個人例外。
2. 火星不哭：印度懷疑中國用無人機監視印度，研究了半年發現那只是火星
India's army reportedly spent six months watching "Chinese spy drones" violating its air space, only to find out they were actually Jupiter and Venus.
據報道，印度軍方花費了6個月時間監視幾架侵犯其領空的中國間諜無人機，結果卻發現他們監視的對象其實是木星和金星。
It quotes military sources as saying the objects violated the LAC 155 times. So, the army called the Indian Institute of Astrophysics to identify the objects.
據官方知情人士稱，受到監視的不明物體對印度LAC戰機進行挑釁的次數多達155次。所以官方請印度天體物理學的專家對不明物體進行鑑定。
It is suggested that the sentry ought to be forgiven, with planets appearing brighter as a result of the different atmosphere at altitude.
不過我們還是應該對這場防禦調查行爲表示諒解。因爲在不同的大氣環境下，木星和火星在高空中確實會顯得尤其明亮。
hawkish
3. 黃雀在後：美國懷疑伊拉克有大規模殺傷武器，普京懷疑裏面是洗衣液
In a hawkish speech in Warsaw on Wednesday, Obama accused Russia of playing "dark tactics" to violate Ukraine's sovereignty.
在週三華沙舉行的國際會議上，奧巴馬大放厥詞，質控俄羅斯玩“黑招”，干涉烏克蘭主權內政。
The Russian leader dismissed the allegations of Russian military interference in Ukraine, delivering a scathing attack on U.S. attempts to isolate his country over Ukraine crisis.
就美國對俄羅斯軍方武力干涉烏克蘭的指責，俄方領導表示抗議，對美國進行辛辣的反脣相譏，指出美國妄圖在烏克蘭危機中孤立俄羅斯的企圖。
"Proof? Let's see it!" he said. "The entire world remembers the U.S. secretary of state demonstrating the evidence of Iraq's weapons of mass destruction, waving around some test tube with washing powder in the UN Security Council," he said.
“證據？讓我們看看吧！”他說，“全世界都記得，當初在聯合國安全大會上，美國國務卿展示伊拉克大規模殺傷性武器的證據，結果只是拿着一隻裏面裝着洗衣粉的試管。”
Mars
4. 女司機：英國女子14年未駕取駕照 被多所駕校列黑名單
A would-be motorist, who has spent more than ￡5,000 on 250 lessons over a 14-year period has been blacklisted from her local driving schools due to her failure to pass the test.
一位想要成爲駕駛員的女性在過去14年的時間裏接受了250堂駕校課程，花費超過5000英鎊，最終未能通過駕照考試，被當地多所駕校拉黑。
Janine Mars, 31, has had five different driving instructors only to fail her practical test four times.
31歲的Janine Mars先後有5位駕駛指導老師，最終四次在考試中掛科。
She said, now the situation is so bad, she cannot find an instructor near her home in Kent, willing to take her because of her poor motoring skills.
她說，目前形勢嚴峻，她在自己居住的肯特郡當地已經找不到駕校教練了，由於她差勁的駕駛技術，沒人願意收她爲徒。
It is estimated that during her driving lessons, Ms Mars has driven the equivalent of a road trip between London and Perth in Australia.
據推測，在她學駕照期間，Mars夫人開過的里程數連起來相當於從倫敦到澳洲珀斯的長度。
fired
5. 怪我咯：青年舉槍自殺母親報警，警察爲阻止將其擊斃
An 18-year-old Kansas man with a history of mental issues has died after police fired several rounds at him outside a hardware store.
美國堪薩斯州一位18歲的男子在五金店外被警方數次擊中，最終身亡。該男子有精神病史。
Family members say that Joseph Jennings, 18, had just been released from Ransom Memorial Hospital on Saturday night after he attempted suicide by swallowing some 60 pills.
其家人稱，這名名叫 Joseph Jennings的18歲男子曾吞服60顆藥片試圖自殺，上週六剛從贖金紀念醫院釋放回家。
Ottowa police were called to the parking lot of Orscheln Farm and Home for a report of a man with a gun — and found Jennings in a 'suicidal state,' his family said.
其家人稱，渥太華警方接到報案，趕赴當地一家Orscheln Farm and Home五金店的停車場，發現一名手持手槍的男子——他們發現Jennings有自殺的企圖。
The officers confronted Jennings and eventually shot him. Authorities have dodged questions about whether Jennings actually had a weapon and how many times he was shot.
警方制服了Jennings並將其射殺。對於是否Jennings確實持有武器，以及警方對他開了多少槍的問題，官方並未迴應。
