怎樣提升自己的自信心?

Confidence can make or break your career. Luckily for those lacking it, self-belief is easy to boost.

How important is confidence?

“Hugely from a leadership and team perspective,” says Rob Yeung, a corporate psychologist at Talentspace and author of Confidence: The Art of Getting Whatever you Want.

“You must be confident for others to have confidence in you. People equate confidence with competence.”

Bob Etherington, a sales, negotiation and presentation trainer, says it can be the difference between success and failure. “Companies aren’t run by people who are the best but by people who think they’re the best.”

What about faking it?

“Often you do need to feign confidence at first,” says Mr Etherington. “You try and adopt the feeling of someone who knows what they’re doing.”

But, he adds, the best thing about faking confidence is that it often evolves into the real thing. “You get a picture in your mind of the outcome you want. Athletes do it all the time – they see the ball going into the hole. Even though you don’t really believe it, your brain latches on to it. That gets your confidence going.”

What can I do to build my confidence?

When engaging in conversation or making presentations, Mr Etherington’s advice is: “Speak clearly and drop your voice, stand with your feet about 30 centimetres apart, use your hands when you talk and make eye contact.”

Peter Shaw, an executive coach at Praesta, says that personal experiences can also help. “Remember occasions when you have been confident in the past. Encapsulate meMories of success,” he says. “You could also have a mantra, like ‘I can do this’ or ‘Keep calm and carry on’. Or you can think of situations where you’re confident outside of work and then transfer some of that into the work environment.”

Mr Yeung says: “Psychologists also talk about the ‘illusion of transparency’. Most people believe that when they are nervous everyone can see this. But they can’t. Just remembering this can make you more confident.”

How important is preparation?

Two ways to improve how you come across are to make sure you have done your homework and to show up to meetings with plenty of time to spare. “You may not actually need to read all those pages the night before but it will boost your confidence,” says Mr Shaw. “Preparation is as much psychological as practical.”

Arriving early is also a good way to collect your thoughts. “If you arrive flustered and have to apologise, you won’t inspire confidence in those you’re meeting and you start on the back foot.”

Can you be overconfident?

There is a fine line between self-belief and arrogance. A confident manager is grounded enough to “accept criticism and welcome feedback”, adds Mr Yeung.信心能影響你事業的成敗。幸運的是，對缺乏自信的人來說，信心是很容易提升的。

自信有多重要？

Talentspace的企業心理學家羅布•楊(Rob Yeung)表示：“從領導力和團隊的角度來看，非常重要。”楊著有《自信：心想事成的技巧》(Confidence: The Art of Getting Whatever you Want)一書。

“你必須相信其他人對你有信心。人們將信心等同於競爭力”。

銷售、談判和演講培訓人鮑勃•埃瑟林頓(Bob Etherington)表示，自信可以決定你成功與否。“公司的管理者不是最優秀的人才，而是自認爲最優秀的人”。

假裝自信怎樣？

埃瑟林頓表示：“通常你一開始確實需要假裝自信。你要努力模仿那些胸有成竹的人的情緒。”

但他補充稱，假裝自信的最佳之處在於它往往會演變成真正的自信。“你在腦海中勾畫自己想要獲得的結果，運動員一直是這麼做的——他們在腦海中看到球落入了籃筐裏。即便你並非真的相信它，你的大腦也會留下印象。這會激發你的自信”。

我如何才能建立自信？

埃瑟林頓的建議是，當與人交談或發表講話時，“吐字清晰，降低音調，雙腳分開約30公分，說話時運用手勢，並與聽衆進行目光接觸”。

Praestad的高級教練彼得•肖(Peter Shaw)表示，個人經歷也能有所幫助。他表示：“記住你曾經自信滿滿的時刻。封裝成功的記憶。你還可以給自己想個咒語，比如‘我能做到’或者‘保持鎮定並繼續’。或者回想起你在工作之外感到自信的場合，隨後把一部分場景轉變爲工作環境。”

楊表示：“心理學家也提到了‘被洞悉錯覺’(illusion of transparency)。大多數人認爲，當自己緊張時，所有人都會知道，但事實並非如此。只要記住這一點便可以讓你更自信。”

提前準備有多重要？

提升表現有兩個辦法：確保你做足功課和早到。肖表示：“你實際上可能不需要在前一天晚上閱讀全部資料，但它會提升你的信心。提前準備既有心理效果，又有現實效果。”

早到也是集中思想的好辦法。“如果你慌慌張張地趕到目的地，並不得不爲此道歉，那些與你會晤的人就不會對你有信心，因此你一開始就處於不利地位。”

一個人有可能自信過頭嗎？

自信與傲慢之間有着細微差別。楊還補充道，一個自信的經理頭腦清醒，能夠“接受批評並歡迎反饋”。