獲得伴侶支持 目標更難實現？

You might think a gentle nudge from a loving partner would help you stick to your plan to redecorate the house or get in shape. But a supportive other half with the best intentions can actually demotivate us, according to a study.

Thinking about the support a significant other offers in pursuing goals can undermine the motivation to work towards those goals, scientists claim. It can also increase procrastination before getting down to work.

This phenomenon even has a name - 'self-regulatory outsourcing' - which is the unconscious reliance on someone else to move your goals forward, coupled by a relaxation of your own effort. It's not solely a phenomenon between partners, but happens with friends and family too.

The study's authors, scientists Gráinne Fitzsimons of Duke University and Eli Finkel of Northwestern University, said: 'If you look just at one goal in isolation - as the study does - there can be a negative effect.

'But relying on another person also lets you spread your energy across many goals, which can be effective if your partner is helpful.' The authors conducted three online experiments with participants recruited from a data-collection service.

In the first, of 52 women, some were asked to focus on a way their partners helped them reach health and fitness goals; the control group instead entertained thoughts of their partners helping them with career goals.

When asked how diligently they intended to work toward getting fitter and healthier in the coming week, the first group planned to put in less effort than the second.

Facing an academic goal, people also unconsciously outsourced their exertion to helpful partners. In the second experiment, 74 male and female students were given a means of procrastination - an engaging puzzle - before completing an academic achievement task that would help them improve their performance at university.

Those who had mused about how their partner helps them with academic achievement procrastinated longer, leaving themselves less time to work productively on the academic task, than did control group participants.

'The first experiment was about intention. The second captures behaviour,' said Professor Fitzsimons.如果你計劃重新裝修房子或者健身的話，你可能認爲愛侶的貼心支持能讓你更堅定地完成自己的計劃。但是一項調查顯示，另一半好意的支持反而會讓我們失去堅持的動力。

科學家稱，在實現目標的過程中，如果你一直想着你的摯愛的支持，反而會讓你失去追逐目標的動力。而且這種支持也會讓你變得拖拖拉拉，遲遲不願意開始行動。

這種現象甚至還有一個名字：自律外包，意思就是說人們潛意識中會依賴別人來幫助自己達到目標，而同時自己會放鬆努力。這種現象不僅僅存在於情侶之間，也存在於家人和朋友之間。

該研究的作者、杜克大學科學家哥勞亞•菲茨西蒙斯和西北大學科學家伊萊•芬克爾說：“在研究中我們只是單獨研究一個目標的實現情況，結果顯示（伴侶的支持）確實是有負面影響。”

他說：“但是依賴另外一個人能讓你將精力放在很多目標上，而且如果你的另一半能幫得上忙的話，將能有效地實現多個目標。”該研究的作者在網上進行了三次實驗，參與者是從一個數據收集機構中招來的。

第一個實驗的實驗對象是52位女性，研究人員要求其中一組人集中精力，想想她們的伴侶幫她們達到健身目標的一個方法，同時研究人員要求另一組人想想伴侶幫她們達到職業目標的幾種途徑，以作爲對照。

隨後，研究人員問她們在接下來的一週中打算花多大力氣來實現更苗條更健康的目標，結果顯示第一組人打算付出的努力要少於第二組人。

在面對學業目標時，人們也會潛意識地將她們的努力“外包”給能幫助她們的伴侶。在第二個實驗中，74位參與的男女大學生需要完成一項有助於提高成績的學業任務，但是在他們完成之前，研究人員給了他們一個有意思的智力遊戲，來拖延他們完成任務的進程。

那些想着伴侶可以如何幫自己完成學業任務的人拖得更久，因此他們用於完成學業任務的有效時間要比對照組的人短。

菲茨西蒙斯教授說：“第一個實驗研究了（這種支持）對人們的意識的影響，而第二個則研究了對於行爲的影響。”