英語爆笑笑話彙總

英語笑話是指以一句英文短語或一個英文故事讓說話者和聽者之間覺得好笑,或是產生幽默感,笑話是一種經過藝術加工的語言形式,是藝術化的語言,笑話是一種藝術方法。下面是本站小編整理的英語爆笑笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語爆笑笑話一：我是單身漢

Jack fell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back.

傑克騎車摔傷，去醫院治療。一位年輕美貌的護士拿着表格讓填。 傑克填好後遞上表格。

"Anything else?"The nurse asked. "Yes," Jack thinks for a while and said "l'm a bachelor."

“還有什麼漏填的?”護士問。“有!”傑克想了想說，“我是個單身漢。”

　　英語爆笑笑話二：狗住旅店

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

有個人給一家他計劃在假期裏停留的小旅館寫了封信，“我非常希望帶着我的狗，它很乾淨很有教養，你能允許它和我睡一間屋子嗎?”

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

旅館主人立即回了封信，“我經營旅館很多年了，狗從沒偷過毛巾，牀單， 餐具，或者牆上的畫。我也從沒有在半夜因爲狗喝醉胡鬧而趕走它，狗也從不不付帳就跑掉。實際上我們非常歡迎您的狗來我們旅館，如果它爲您擔保，也歡迎您來。

e were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....

“媽媽，我不喜歡，因爲她說3加3得6, 可後來又說2加4也得6。”

　　英語爆笑笑話三：Part-time Job業餘工作

When my son was a hign-school sophomore, he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all smiles.

"How was your first day?" I asked.

"It was great, Dad," he replied. "I got to talk to some good-looking girls."

Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?"

"Do you prefer paper or plastic?"

我兒子在一所中學讀二年級時，在一家超級市場找到了一份包裝商品的業餘工作。他滿面笑容地回到了家。

“第一天感覺如何?”我問。

“好極了，爸爸。”他答道，“我跟許多漂亮的女孩子講了話。”

由於斯蒂芬不善言談，我問道：“你跟他們說了些什麼?”

“你是喜歡紙包裝還是塑料包裝?”

　　英語爆笑笑話四：Who Discovered Australia?誰發現了澳大利亞?

Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.

Johnny: It's there, sir.

Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?

Sammy: Johnny, sir.

老師：約翰尼，在地圖上給我找出澳大利亞在什麼地方。

約翰尼：先生，在這兒。

老師：對了。薩默，你來回答我是誰發現了澳大利亞?

薩默：先生，是約翰尼。

　　英語爆笑笑話五：Quick Cleanup快速清掃

Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

不速之客就在路上，我媽媽，一個完美的家庭主婦，正忙裏忙外地整理。她分配給我爸和我哥哥的任務是打掃供客人使用的浴室。一會兒之後，當她去檢查的時候，她吃驚了，曾經一度雜亂的房間瞬間就被打掃乾淨了。接着她看到浴簾上有一張紙條，紙條上寫着：“謝謝你沒往浴缸裏看。”

　　英語爆笑笑話六：Christmas Eve Service平安夜禮拜

Just as I began my Christmas Eve service, the electricity in the church failed. The ushers and I found some candles and placed them around the sanctuary. Then I reentered the pulpit, shuffled my notes, and muttered, "Now, where was I?" A tired voice called out, "Right near the end!"

就在我開始平安夜禱告時，教堂停電了。教堂裏的接待人員和我找到一些蠟燭，把它們放在禮堂周圍。然後我重返講道壇，整理了一下筆記後，我說：“剛纔我講到哪兒了?”傳來一陣不耐煩的聲音：“馬上就講完了!”