The people of Krikkit, said His High Judgmental Supremacy, Judiciary Pag, LIVR (the Learned, Impartial and Very Relaxed) Chairman of the Board of Judges at the Krikkit war Crimes Trial, are, well, you know, they’re just a bunch of real sweet guys, you know, who just happen to want to kill everybody. Hell, I feel the same way some mornings. Shit. OK, he continued, swinging his feet up on to the bench in front of him and pausing a moment to pick a thread off his Ceremonial Beach Loafers, so you wouldn’t necessarily want to share a Galaxy with these guys. This was true. The Krikkit attack on the Galaxy had been stunning. Thousands and thousands of huge Krikkit warships had leapt suddenly out of hyperspace and simultaneously attacked thousands and thousands of major worlds, first seizing vital material supplies for building the next wave, and then calmly zapping those worlds out of existence. The Galaxy, which had been enjoying a period of unusual peace and prosperity at the time, reeled like a man getting mugged in a meadow. I mean, continued Judiciary Pag, gazing round the ultra-modern (this was ten billion years ago, when “ultra-modern” meant lots of stainless steel and brushed concrete) and huge courtroom, these guys are just obsessed. This too was true, and is the only explanation anyone has yet managed to come up with for the unimaginable speed with which the people of Krikkit had pursued their new and absolute purpose the destruction of everything that wasn’t Krikkit. It is also the only explanation for their bewildering sudden grasp of all the hypertechnology involved in building their thousands of spaceships, and their millions of lethal white robots. These had really struck terror into the hearts of everyone who had encountered them in most cases, however, the terror was extremely short-lived, as was the person experiencing the terror. They were savage, single-minded flying battle machines. They wielded formidable multifunctional battleclubs which, brandished one way, would knock down buildings and, brandished another way, fired blistering Omni-Destructo Zap Rays and, brandished a third way, launched a hideous arsenal of grenades, ranging from minor incendiary devices to Maxi-Slorta Hypernuclear Devices which could take out a major sun. Simply striking the grenades with the battleclubs simultaneously primed them, and launched them with phenomenal accuracy over distances ranging from mere yards to hundreds of thousands of miles. OK, said Judiciary Pag again, so we won. He paused and chewed a little gum. We won, he repeated, but that’s no big deal. I mean a medium-sized galaxy against one little world, and how long did it take us? Clerk of the Court? M’lud? said the severe little man in black, rising. How long, kiddo? It is a trifle difficult, m’lud, to be precise in this matter. Time and distance… Relax, guy, be vague. I hardly like to be vague, m’lud, over such a… Bite the bullet and be it. The Clerk of the Court blinked at him. It was clear that like most of the Galactic legal profession he found Judiciary Pag (or Zipo Bibrok 5/108, as his private name was known, inexplicably, to be) a rather distressing figure. He was clearly a bounder and a cad. He seemed to think that the fact that he was the possessor of the finest legal mind ever discovered gave him the right to behave exactly as he liked, and unfortunately he appeared to be right. Er, well, m’lud, very approximately, two thousand years, the Clerk murmured unhappily. And how many guys zilched out? “版求星人——”最高法院審判長、帕格大人說道。他是版求戰爭罪審判庭上的LIVR（博學、公正、非常閒①）主席。“他們啊，對吧，他們只是一羣挺好的傢伙。只是不小心想要殺掉所有人而已。見鬼，我有時在早上也會這麼想。他媽的。” “OK。”他突然把腿蹺到前面的凳子上，從他的沙灘軟皮正裝休閒鞋上拔下一根線頭，接着說，“所以，你不會太想跟他們呆在一個銀河系的。” 的確如此。 版求人對銀河系的攻擊，是駭人聽聞的。成千上萬艘巨型版求戰艦，在超空間中突然出現，同時攻擊成千上萬個星球。他們首先奪取重要物資供給線，以便下一波攻擊使用，然後就無聲無息地毀掉這些星球。 銀河系，經歷了長時間的、極度的和平與繁榮，此時，卻像個在草叢裏遭遇搶劫的旅人一樣，軟弱無助。 “我的意思是，”帕格環視那間超級先進的（這是幾百年前，所以“超級先進”意思是很多鋼鐵和刷好的石灰）寬敞的法庭，繼續道，“這些傢伙只是着了魔。” 的確也如此。這是唯一能夠解釋、爲什麼版求星人能以如此不可想象的速度、實現他們所追尋的目標——毀滅版求星以外的一切。沒人能想出其他的解釋了。 這也是唯一能夠解釋、爲什麼他們如此突然地掌握了所有高新技術、得以製造成千上萬的飛船和幾百萬奪命機器人。 這些機器人，能使所有遭遇過他們的人從心底感到恐懼——不過，在大多數情況下，這種恐懼極其短暫，因爲那些遭遇的人會活得很短暫。這些機器人，是兇狠、蠻橫的飛行戰爭機器。他們擁有威力強大的多功能戰棒，用一種方式揮舞，便能將大樓震塌；用另一種方式揮舞，便能發射出灼人的全滅速殺射線；用第三種方式揮，便會從特大超核屠殺裝置的小型燃燒器裏，發出榴彈火牆。只需用戰棒擊打榴彈，就可以爲它們填上火藥，並將其精確發射到攻擊目標，從幾百碼到上萬裏的距離皆可。 “OK。”帕格法官又說道，“總之咱們贏了。”他停下來，嚼了會兒口香糖，“咱們贏了。”他重複道，“不過這也沒什麼。我的意思是，一箇中等大小的星系，打一顆小小的星球……用了多久來着？書記員？” “法官大人？”一個矮小的黑衣人站了起來，表情嚴肅。 “多久，孩子？” “法官大人，要準確的話，由於時間和空間的關係……” “放輕鬆，小夥子。說個大概。” “我很少說個大概，法官大人，這是很……” “那就忍一忍，說個大概吧。” 書記員眨眨眼。很顯然，同銀河系大多數法律專家一樣，他發現這個帕格大人（或者說芝伯·畢博克 5%108，這是他那奇怪的真名）是個相當煩人的傢伙。他顯然是個粗人，是個流氓。他彷彿認爲自己是世界上最懂法律的人，所以他能做自己想做的任何事。不幸的是，他似乎是對的。 “嗯，好吧，法官大人。粗略地說，兩千年。”書記不快地咕噥着。 “掛了多少人？”
