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爆笑:網友總結了好萊塢的所有套路

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2018 was all about diversity in the Movies, film industries tried their best to include different ethnicities, races, body types, and sexual orientations. So for the first time, more people found themselves being a protagonist of a captivating Hollywood movie than ever before. But even though that sounds like a huge step towards an inclusive and diverse movie industry, there is still a long way to go. Nowadays, movies are filled with hilarious clichés that just don't make any sense, and there is no chance any of them would work in the real world, especially when it comes to professions. Scroll down to see if there's one about your profession!

爆笑:網友總結了好萊塢的所有套路

2018年電影業的主題就是多元性,各大影視公司不遺餘力的在作品中囊括不同信仰,不同種族,不同體型,不同性取向的形象。於是,有史以來頭一次,越來越多的人能在精彩的好萊塢電影中那些主角身上看到自己的影子。你可能覺得,照此看來,電影業又向融匯貫通,和而不同的發展目標邁進了一大步,然而事實並非如此,我們仍然任重道遠。當下的電影中充斥着各種令人發笑的套路,這些套路不合情理,絕不可能發生在現實世界中,尤其是涉及到某些專業知識的情況下。往下翻,看看能不能找到關於你的行業的好萊塢套路!


o,I'm an alien in a movie and I want to invade planet earth-when I say planet earth, I mean the US.

你好!我是電影裏的外星人。我要侵略地球——我說地球,其實我指的是美國。


, now. I'm the police tech who can miraculously 'enhance' that grainy bot of CCTV footage and zoom in so that you can see the killer's reflection in the victim's wedding ring. Everything will be controlled by me hammering furiously at the keyboard, and I'll never hit 'ENTER’.

我是警方的技術人員,我能奇蹟般的找到監控錄像上麥粒大小的光點,放大之後,你會發現那是受害者的結婚戒指,上面能折射出兇手的臉。我只需要猛烈的捶打鍵盤就能解決一切難題,而且我從來沒有擊中過“輸入”鍵。


o. I'm a computer geek in a movie. I can break into any system by typing random keys extremely fast then shouting"I'm in!" All the while this is happening green text will be projected scrolling up my face. My T shirt has a band on it too.

你好!我是電影裏的一個電腦極客。我能夠偷偷進入任何網絡系統,只需要急速敲擊鍵盤上的任意按鍵,並且高呼“我進去了!”與此同時,綠色的字碼會投射到我的臉上。我的T恤上有一行標語。


4.I am a suburban/urban housewife in a movie about my kids. Every morning I make a full four course breakfast, and every morning each member of my family eats a bite of toast, bolts down two gulps of orange juice, and rushes out the door. Do I just throw the rest away? Nobody knows.

我是電影裏的家庭主婦,我住在市中心或者二環,成天圍着孩子們轉。每天早上我都會準備四道菜的豐富早餐,每天早上,我的每個家人都匆忙咬一口吐司,嚥下兩口橘汁,然後衝出門去。我會把剩下的早餐都扔掉嗎?沒人知道。


, I'm a pregnant lady in a movie. My waters break in a huge gush at the most inconvinient time 

嗨,我是電影裏的一個孕婦。我的羊水會在最不合適的時候破水,而且一發不可收拾。


o,I’m the Eiffel Tower in a movie, you can see me from every single window of every building in Paris.

你好,我是電影裏的埃菲爾鐵塔。你能從巴黎的每一棟建築,每一扇窗戶看到我。


o, I am a chubby black woman in a movie. I am just here to be your sassy friend with the witty comebacks. Mostly, I’ll just say”Girrrrrlllllluh” and “mm hm” a lot in addition to shaking my head in disapproval.

你好。我是電影裏胖胖的黑人婦女。我舉止粗魯,但我能用睿智的言論評論裏的行爲。我的作用就是扮演你的朋友。大多數時候,我只會默默搖頭,對你的行爲加以否定,時而說一句“呃”或者“呵呵”。


, I’m a “nerdy” girl in your local high school, you probably haven’t noticed me because I wear glasses and my hair in a tight braid. That is, until some girls give me a makeover for the prom, I take off the glasses and let my hair down (literally) then you see my ”true beauty”

嗨,我是電影裏的“書呆子”女孩,我是主角的高中同學。主角可能並沒有注意到我,因爲我戴着厚厚的眼鏡,還梳着毫無生氣的麻花辮。不過,快要開畢業舞會的似乎,會有一羣女同學來爲我妝扮一番,我會摘掉我的眼鏡,放下頭髮,如此一來,你就會發現我真正的魅力了。


9.I’m a mom in a sitcom. My hair, body, and clothes are perfect, and I’m gorgeous and look 20. My husband is balding, fat and looks 40.

我是情景喜劇裏的主婦。我的髮型靚麗,體型苗條,衣着時尚。我整個人都美美噠,看上去像個20歲的小姑娘。我的丈夫禿頂,肥胖,看起來有40歲了。


10. I’m a military radar technician in a movie and I don’t exist until I say” Sir, you’d better take a look at this” and then I’m never seen or heard again.

我是電影裏的軍用雷達技術員。我會說“長官,你最好看看這個”。在我說出這句臺詞之前,我並不存在。說出這句臺詞之後,你也不會再看到我或聽到我說的話。


o, I’m a grocery bag in a movie. I always have a baguette in me and I’m always made of paper with no handles.

哈嘍,我是電影裏的購物袋。我的肚子裏總裝着一根長法棍。我總是紙質的,而且沒有把手。


o, I’m a writer in a movie. I write one piece a week and live in a two bedroom New York apartment with a walk-in wardrobe. Also I never actually pitch anywhere, the jobs just come to me.

你好。我是電影裏的作家。我每週寫就一部作品,在紐約擁有一間兩臥的公寓,還有步入式的衣帽間。我從不在任何地方投簡歷,工作會自己找上門來。


, I’m a soldier in a movie. I show you a picture of my girlfriend and at that point you realise I’m the first to get killed.

我是電影裏的士兵。我會讓觀衆看到我的女友的照片,如此一來你就會明白,我一定是第一個領盒飯的角色。


. I’m any character in a movie that uses a taxi. After reaching the destination, I don’t wait to hear the cost; I simply pull out any money from my wallet, hand it to the cabby and don’t wait for any change. I could be handling out hundreds and never know. Now I may be broke.

我是電影裏搭計程車的人。每次到達目的地之後,我都等不及讓司機告訴我車費是多少;我會直接從錢包裏掏出一疊鈔票,塞給司機,不等司機給我找零就下車。可能我拿出的車費有幾百美金,我卻毫不知情。現在說不定我已經破產了。


15. Hello, I’m a lab scientist in a movie. I wear my hair down in flowing waves, and don no gloves as I handle chemicals with the pipette I’m holding the wrong way, Also test results come in a split second at the push of a button on a miracle machine.

你好,我是電影裏的科學家,我常年呆在實驗室裏。我長髮披肩,青絲如水,捲曲動人。


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