我發誓，這是我哭過最蠢的一次！爆笑
reddit上的一篇問答貼－What is the stupidest reason you have cried? 你因爲什麼最蠢的原因哭過？英語君看完發現，原來哭可以表達這麼多種情緒啊……
通通都怪荷爾蒙！
1. Was driving alone when I suddenly thought of the time my husband kissed my hand when he thought I was sleeping, and I started crying hysterically.
I blame my period.
當時正一個人開着車，突然就想起有一次我老公以爲我睡着了，偷偷親了我的手，想到這我就歇斯底里的哭起來了。
都怪大姨媽。
熱評:
If I had read this 4 days ago I'd be crying.
如果我是四天前看到你的回覆，我也會哭的。
Tips：
1）hysterically歇斯底里地
2）period這個詞本身有周期的意思，所以常常用來指女性生理期，跟我們平常說“大姨媽”的意思差不多，而“月經”這種比較正式的說法就相當於menstrual cycle／period
2. I was on my period and couldn't open the jar of pasta sauce.
我當時大姨媽來了，因爲打不開一罐意麪醬料哭了。
熱評：
I cried reading that... Sorry for your loss.
我讀着讀着你的回覆就哭了，替你感到難過。
3. My currently pregnant girlfriend cried a couple of weeks ago because I brought home the wrong kind of ice cream.
Not like full on bawling, but definitely an awkward silence followed by gentle streams of tears.
我女朋友，現在正懷孕吶，前幾周因爲我給她買了錯的口味的冰淇淋回家，哭了。
也不是大吵大鬧那樣子的哭，但當時空氣突然安靜，尷尬的不行，她默默的流了兩行眼淚。
熱評：
I'm curious what the girlfriend wanted vs what she got.
想知道你女朋友到底想吃啥口味以及，你給她買了啥口味的。（熱評觀衆們真是幸災樂禍呢……
4. I'm 8 Months pregnant and I cried yesterday because I didn't want to vacuum the floor. Nobody was making me vacuum. I just had this desire to do it, but I didn't actually want to do it.
我現在懷孕八個月了，昨天哭了一場，因爲我不想給地板吸塵。也沒有誰逼着我給地板吸塵。但我就是突然有想給地板吸塵的衝動。但我內心又不是很想給地板吸塵。
5. I was pregnant and I saw a picture of a duck alone in a pond.
我懷孕的時候，看到池塘裏一隻孤單的鴨子，我哭了。
熱評：
When my wife was pregnant she would cry at anything. One time she yelled because there was a spider and told me to kill it, she then cried for the spider.... hormones are weird.
我老婆懷孕的時候，啥都能讓她哭。有一次她看到一隻蜘蛛，然後大叫，讓我去把蜘蛛打死，之後她又因爲蜘蛛死了，就哭了……荷爾蒙這東西是真奇怪。
雖然蠢蠢的，但是英語君也心疼你們
1．I accidentally knocked over my bottle of 5 Hour Energy and burst into tears because I had a job I hated so much that that was the only thing I had to look forward to.
我不小心把我的5小時能量飲料（加強版紅牛）打翻了，然後眼淚嘩啦啦的就噴灑出來了。因爲我恨透了我當時的工作，5小時能量是我當時唯一抱有期待的東西了。
熱評：
That's actually really sad.
這個是真的很難過啦。
2. When I was about 7 years old there was this couch that we had, nothing special about it really but for some reason that couch was like my life. When my parents sold it to relatives I went flipping ballistic. I cried like mad at anything related to the couch. Days before they even sold it I cried because of the fact it was going away. The day it was gone I screamed all day. Months later I started crying because I saw a pic of me as a baby on the couch. I don't know why the hell I loved that couch so much.
在我大概7歲的時候，家裏有這麼一個沙發，就是個普普通通的沙發而已，但是不知道爲啥這個沙發簡直是我的全部了。當我爸媽把這個沙發賣給親戚的時候我簡直暴跳如雷。有關這個沙發的一切都能讓我大哭一場，賣掉它的前幾天，我因爲知道了它要被賣掉，哭了；它被賣掉的那天，因爲它不在了我大叫了一整天；幾個月之後，我又因爲看到自己嬰兒時期坐在那沙發上的照片，哭了。我都不知道自己爲啥這麼他媽的愛這個沙發。
熱評：
Do you still think about this couch? Have you been searching for a replacement? Are you avowed to never take a couch from your own children? So many follow up questions.
你現在還會想念這個沙發嗎？你有沒有爲它尋找一個替代品？你有沒有發誓以後絕對不會從自己孩子手裏奪走一個沙發？這太引人深思了。
Tip：
go ballistic這個短語有勃然大怒，非常非常生氣的意思，這裏說go flipping ballistic那就是氣上加氣，暴跳如雷，氣得不行了。例如：
If I tell my Dad I scratched his car, he would definitely go ballistic and kick my ass.
如果我跟我爹說我把他的車刮花了，他絕壁要暴跳如雷然後痛扁我一頓。
3. I saw a picture of a dog wearing socks and it was really nice.
我看到一張圖，一隻狗穿着襪子，真的真的很棒，然後我就哭了。
沒錯就是它。。。
熱評：
Did you remember that swans can be gay?
你難道不記得天鵝還有gay的嗎？
層主回覆：
I started crying when I read that too. I have a lot of feelings.
看到你這條我又哭起來了，我很多愁善感的。
4. My cat killed a mouse and left it in front of the door. When I went out, I stepped on it and it exploded like a baloon filled with mouse organs. I'll never forget the pop sound. :(
我家貓玩死了一隻耗子然後把它扔在了家門口。我出門的時候，一腳踩在了那隻死耗子上，它那一瞬間就像一個裝滿了老鼠內臟的氣球一樣爆開了。我永遠都忘不了那個爆開的聲音。
熱評：
”a baloon filled with mouse organs “－That's a beautiful visualization. Thanks for that.
“像裝滿老鼠器官的氣球”－這真是美妙的畫面啊，謝謝你哦。
5. My wife saw a one of those ASPCA commercials with the abused animals looking all sad at the camera. She wouldn't stop crying until I called and donated $300.
我老婆看到一條美國防止虐待動物協會的廣告，裏面那些被虐待的動物都愁容滿面可憐兮兮的盯着鏡頭。我老婆哭的停不下來，直到我給該協會打了電話又捐了300美金纔好。
熱評：
$300! Did YOU start crying at that point?
300美金！所以後來你哭了嗎？
好吧，以後想哭了就看看這篇帖，也許就笑出來了……
